Page 40 of Vapor
He freezes, then pulls me toward the trees. The brook is on this side so I go without dragging my feet.
“I took an oath to the National Guard, to the Air Force, to the DOJ, the Honor Code, the Airman’s Creed and the Commissioned Officer Creed. In those, I swore to protect the constitution and the people of the United States. I do that with honor, integrity and accountability. I am no longer a lawyer for the country and still work to keep the intent of our laws intact. You have a point about the people that came here to die. They were from Russia, and hired soldiers or sympathizers. They were not stopped or flagged as terrorists, they were dispersed all over the country and came here to kill Badass members for rescuing innocent Indians and workers from a prison in the country of Georgia. The majority of those in the prison were scammed into working for the CIA.” That alone tells me this is justified.
My hand goes up. “Don’t say more. The ones hurting Badass just dropped dead?” Those were his words. As unbelievable as it sounds, I wish I could see it.
He nods without adding anything. He’s waiting for my reaction.
“Okay. Just say justified next time. One guy doing that scares me. Is this an old geezer?” I don’t think I want to be close to him. I’ve done some horrendous missions and a guy like that may make me an example.
He laughs lifting me up to cross the brook. My chivalrous bad boy next door hottie. Sarah is going to have a field day with this one. I have to remember it for her.
“He’s younger than us.”
Of course he is. I bet he’s model pretty too. “Point him out for me if he shows here. I did shit work that may get me and my team killed.”
He shakes his head but it’s a valid concern. “You followed orders in good faith. I know you. If you thought it was wrong, you’d find a way to lessen or change it. Jones told us the day I met him. You brought extra supplies feeling it was off. You never expected annihilation at the hand of your commanding officer. Any reader you meet here is Badass and would look at intent before acting in violence. Badass respects honor and integrity as much as I do. It’s why we have so many Officers here.” He’s so direct and blunt but I feel that one and saw his eyes flicker, showing he knew just when his words sucker punched me.
My eyes close and he tightens his hold. “I’m sorry, baby. For your team, for the loss of trust and for making you live it again, I’m sorry.”
I breathe and hold it for four, then release while holding my heart trying to slow it. The second breath ends in a noise I never want to make but it’s happening here and now. No one has ever cared if their words hurt. I break, not because he said them, because he realized how they feel and found more to kiss it better then kissed my head so I’d feel it.
My JAG makes a call and speaks with his head turned away from me. “Buy us some time. Thanks, Brother.”
Everything passes through my head as if I’m back in the room with Jones, Sarah and too many friendly bodies as the static in my ear sounds too loud, too final. We’re all broken. Our team is dead. Jones is in and out of it. We’re in shock with no time to process anything. Muscle memory ran my brain and I moved following protocols for extraction behind enemy lines with wounded. Training takes over every time and place my head and heart want to retreat. I can’t say I remember it clearly and I don’t try to. The pain is enough.
His voice is soothing. The creed, the oath. He’s giving them to me word for word. I know the Air Force and say it with him. When he stops, I give him Delta.
“Is that SEAL?”
“Delta. I have Green Beret too. Specter was modeled after a Delta squadron on shadow black tier. We had smaller teams but the squadron worked as one team.”
“Smaller teams being their one specialty but where every member is trained tactical thinkers that rank?”
I nod, figuring he doesn’t need details, he’s got the gist. “Yeah. Pilot is my specialty, Delta Force Commander my rank, well, they found some of my records once I filed for retirement. Thank you. No one ever cared how deep the words hit. I don’t usually react. I’m glad it was with you.”
He stands without groaning, showing me he worked for that well defined stomach the right way. “I am honored you told me. Badass is good about accepting everyone, warts and all. Aylen has the therapists but Cort has Brothers help for PTSD, or issues not slave or women related.”
The guy is too much. He really does think of me first with a therapist for a commander not an emotional wreck. “I think I’m doing fine but today hit hard. You would be the one that sees it. Tell me I need help and I’ll get it.”
He kisses me, then sets me down. “Again, I’m honored you trust me for that. I’d talk to you and ask a reader…or Mucimi.” Julius jumps as Mucimi pops up right beside him.
I roll my eyes at the intrusive nut. He smiles at me. “You don’t need it right now. You can ask the three, Zeke, Citiali, or Aylen anytime you feel it’s off for you.”
My eyes feel huge. Citiali is not who I’d ask to read my mind.
Julius laughs and pulls me closer. “I think you or Aylen will do, Brother. She’s not running from it. She’ll accept it if it’s needed. Ranger said Cooper is like that.”
I nod agreeing. Cooper is a SEAL President. I read of him in the back of the Bible with the new Presidents in the West.
“She’s a lot like Cooper but trained like Brinks and Seamus. Cort is waiting.” The intrusive nut is gone.
I shake my head and take Julius’ hand. “Do you know why Cort is here?”
“It’s Cort. I don’t ever ask. It’s nine in the morning and we have tents. Don’t ask. Show up. Be present.”
My feet stop. “Be legendary, show up, be you with your oaths, honor and Badass. That’s the legendary.”
He laughs at me. “I think that covers you.”
