Page 21 of Transporting a Ruthless Highlander
She screwed her eyes shut and willed herself to go to sleep, but it was useless.
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Amoment or two passed, during which each of them tried to pretend the other was not there. Gavina was trapped in a small space against the wall and wanted to turn over but could not because it would bring her face-to-face with Struan. She would have to wait until he was asleep. However, when her shoulder began to hurt due to the uncomfortable position in which she was lying, she realized that she would have to turn on her side, but when she did, it was to find herself looking right into his eyes.
Struan almost moaned aloud as he looked at her luscious, soft lips. He clenched his hands into fists and tried to press them against his sides, but nothing could distract him from Gavina. Her soft, pliant body was touching every inch of him from his chest to his knees, and his erection was almost painful in its rigidity.
“Gavina, I…I want…God help me, I want you,” he said hoarsely. “Feel what you do to me.” Then he took her hand and placed it on his shaft, seeing her eyes widen in surprise.
Gavina had seen many naked men over the years in the course of her work, although none as magnificently built as Struan, but she had never touched one, even through their clothes. Nothing had prepared her for the hardness of his arousal, and as she compared it to her own female body, she was both shocked and incredulous. She had always wondered if men were a different species of animal from women. Now she could almost believe it was true.
She knew what the arousal of her own body felt like—a slow pulsing, a pleasant fluttering between her legs, a hot wetness—but she had never felt anything like the dark excitement overwhelming her now.
Then he kissed her.
Gavina let out a helpless whimper as his lips touched hers, softly at first, merely a caress, but after a moment, it changed to something deeper and hungrier, as his tongue coaxed her lips open and ventured inside her mouth. His tongue stroked hers slowly and sensually, and she felt herself losing control, almost as though she had been drugged.
Struan growled deep in his throat as he rolled over and felt Gavina underneath him. He kissed his way down the column of her throat, then returned to lick and nibble it while she writhed with delight. Then he closed one hand over her breast while he teased her nipples with his teeth and tongue through the fabric of her shirt.
Had she been thinking clearly, Gavina would not have known what to do, but acting purely on instinct, she raised her hips and rubbed her wetness against the fabric of his long shirt. She felt the long ridge of his arousal against the most sensitive part of her body and heard him grunt with satisfaction. She must have done something right. Without thinking, she wrapped her legs around his hips so that now there were only a few layers of material separating them from becoming one.
“Gavina,” he murmured, “what on earth are you doing to me?”
“I dinnae know, Struan,” she answered honestly. “Dae ye like it?”
He looked down into her emerald eyes, which were now dark with desire. “Oh yes, love,” he replied, smiling. “Yes, I do. I like it very much.”
“I have never done this before,” she whispered, pulling him down to her to claim another kiss. “Ye must teach me.”
It never happened. Her words hit him like a sledgehammer. He realized that this beautiful woman who had captained a ship, saved his life, ridden a horse, and gambled like a professional was a complete innocent. He could not go any further. He could not take away her virginity while both of their futures were still so uncertain.
It was the most difficult thing he had ever had to do, but slowly, he raised himself up on his arms and sat up, then swung his legs off the bed before he had a chance to change his mind. He had to put some distance between them, clear his head and let his body return to normal, if that was possible when she was so close to him.
Gavina was shocked when Struan lifted himself from her and stood up. Suddenly her skin missed the warmth of his, the weight of him resting on her, his big, gentle hands. She felt cold, bereft, and embarrassed as he turned away and sat down in a chair by the fire.
“Did I dae somethin’ wrong?” she asked. “Was there somethin’ I didnae dae that I should have?”
He turned and looked at her puzzled face. “No, Gavina. You did nothing wrong, and you have no idea what an effort it was to drag myself away from you. All I want to do is kiss you senseless and make love to you ’til you scream, but at the moment it is too dangerous. Both of our lives are too uncertain, and we cannot take that kind of risk, especially not you.”
“Why not?” Gavina demanded. “I have taken plenty o’ risks in my life, Struan. Why no’ this one?” Her face was thunderous with anger.
He sighed, putting his face in his hands. “Because one day you will have a husband, Gavina, and you must save your maidenhead for him.”
“Why?” she asked as she climbed out of bed and stood before him.
Struan turned his head away and looked into the fire. The sight of her standing in front of him wearing nothing but her shirt might snap the slender thread of his self-control. “Because I may get you with child.”
“No, that is no’ what ye are sayin’,” Gavina said angrily. “Ye are sayin’ I must keep myself pure for my husband. Have ye kept yerself pure for yer wife?”
He looked at her in disbelief. “I have lain with women before if that is what you mean, but it is different for men.”
“Why?” she demanded. “Why is it different? What is the reason? What is tae stop me findin’ a way tae stop havin’ a baby then sleep wi’ as many men as I like?”
Struan thought for a moment, then looked up at her. “Because that is just the way it is,” he said lamely. “You must save yourself for your husband.”
Gavina laughed scornfully. “An’ what if I never marry? Must I stay a virgin until they are nailin’ my coffin lid down?” She turned and threw herself on the bed again. “Shall I tell ye what I think? I think ye decided ye didnae want me an’ now ye are makin’ excuses! I am disgusted wi’ ye! Goodnight!”
Struan wanted to protest. He opened his mouth to do so, then changed his mind. She would sleep on their argument and would hopefully have calmed down in the morning.
