Page 98 of Taming the Highland Misfits
Aidan, on the other hand, was sitting beside her father looking completely disinterested. His face was expressionless as he ate his food, and he might as well have been in another room, for all the notice he was taking of anyone else.
“Good morning, Aidan,” Freya said pointedly.
“Good morning,” he replied, still avoiding her eyes.
At that moment, Freya, wondering what she had done to warrant such treatment, could have slapped him. He had not been exactly rude, since he had acknowledged her greeting with one of his own, but his attitude had been off-hand and dismissive.
However, she decided to give it no more thought as she ate her own breakfast with relish, savoring every mouthful. Despite Freya’s restless night, she was ravenously hungry and finished off her meal in short order.
She glanced across the table at her father, and found that he was looking at her thoughtfully. Freya smiled at him fondly. “Can I have a few moments of your time, Father?” she asked. “I am thinking of going to the horse fair at Auchbreck and I need your advice.” This was a complete lie, but she did not wish Aidan to know that she wanted to confide in her father.
Her father nodded and stood up. “You are very lucky I have time today, Freya,” he told her. “I had been due to have a meeting with the estate manager but he was obliged to cancel at the last moment.”
They walked along to his study and sat down at his desk, then he sat back in his chair and looked at his daughter keenly for a moment. “The story about the horse fair was a lie, was it not, Freya?”
Freya nodded and sighed. “Yes Father,” she admitted. “I needed to talk to you about something else, and I did not want my brothers to hear me.” She looked away evasively.
The Laird sighed. “You mean ‘brother,’ do you not, Freya?” he asked. “Aidan?”
“Yes.” She nodded slowly. “Every time I see him, he is insufferably rude and glares daggers at me.”
“Yes,” her father agreed. “He is becoming a problem. But we can talk about him later. I also wanted to speak with you about another matter, Freya.” He looked past her out of the window, and they could see that the clouds had given way to a bright blue sky. It was the kind of day that rarely graced the Highlands, and Freya was determined to take advantage of it.
“Perhaps we could talk better down at the loch?” she suggested. “I think we are safe from rain for the time being.”
“That sounds good,” her father agreed, smiling. He rarely had a chance to talk quietly with his daughter, and relished the opportunity. “It has been ages since we were able to have a father-to-daughter conversation with each other. I am so busy, but young ladies are always busy with embroidery and painting and such, are they not, Freya?”
Freya giggled, because they both knew that she had never sewn a stitch in her life! She gave the Laird a playful punch on his shoulder, then she grew serious. “You know me well, Father, so you know that when I need to speak to you it is a matter of consequence.”
“Come then,” the Laird stood up and looped his arm through hers. “A bit of fresh air will do us both a world of good.”
They walked down to the stables and rode down to the loch, talking about small, inconsequential things as they went. When they reached the shoreline, Freya spread a blanket on the grass and they sat down. For a few moments, there was silence between them, both lost in their own thoughts.
“I am worried about our situation with the Baxters,” her father said at last. “They have been a source of trouble for many of us for a long time–you know that, but lately I have begun to feel even more threatened by them. They are riding roughshod over families who do not have the power to stand up to them, and the situation is becoming worse by the day.” He sighed, but it was an angry sound, and his gaze traveled over the loch and the lands around, all clothed in their myriad shades of summer green.
“I could not bear to lose all this,” he told her. “My family has owned this land for generations, and we have ensured that those who live on it with us have a good life. Our tenants never have to worry about where their next meal is coming from, or if their houses are going to rot from disrepair. I like to think I am a fair man, Freya, and I could not bear to think of any of my tenants suffering if I was there to prevent it. Worrying about them keeps me awake at night sometimes.”
“Can I do anything, Father?” she asked gently. “Sometimes I feel so helpless, because even though I am quite capable of understanding account books, nobody will allow me any part in running the estate. I know it is because I am only a woman, and it is so frustrating; I am just as clever as any man, and more clever than many.”
“Freya, you are not ‘only a woman’,” her father said tenderly. “You are my daughter, and you have no idea how special you are to me. You remind me so much of your mother sometimes–your eyes, your hair, your expressions. I love you, my darling girl, and I want you to be truly happy for the rest of your life. I know how much you love Alex, and though we are already allied with the MacNeills, I would never dream of stopping your wedding. Patterson seems to think that your marriage to him is a bad idea, though. He feels the alliance with the MacNeills is not enough and that you should marry into a stronger clan.
I would not change a single thing about you, my beautiful girl, but I sometimes wonder what would have happened if you had been born a boy. Society is wrong in that it does not value womenfolk enough. Aidan has a weak character; he is hot-headed, spiteful and stupid, and listens to the wrong people. You would have done much better. It makes me terrified to think what he will do when he inherits the estate. I will not have to worry about it, of course, but you will.”
“He listens to people like Gerald Patterson,” Freya remarked bitterly. “And so do you, Father.”
“Whatever his faults as a human being, Freya, Gerald is very good at his job,” the Laird answered. “And unlike many other young men, he behaves himself. I don’t have to constantly reprimand him for bothering the chambermaids. However you feel about him, he does what I ask him to, and that is all that matters. It’s more than I can say for Aidan. ”
“But you said something about my marrying into a stronger clan, Father?” Freya asked, a wave of anger washing over her. “Do you think I should do that and forget about Alex?”
“I would never sacrifice your happiness, Freya,” he answered firmly. “I love you far too much, but if anything happens to me, would you not be better off being in a clan like the Gallaghers for your own protection?”
“The Gallaghers?” Freya asked incredulously. “For my protection? Have you heard the rumours about Frank Gallagher, Father? I would rather kill myself than marry him. He is a brute.”
“Perhaps that was a bad example,” the Laird conceded. Then he sighed. “I wish I knew what was going to happen tomorrow. It would make life so much easier for all of us.”
“No, Father. If we went through our lives thinking what might happen the next day,” Freya stated, “then we would be too terrified to rise from bed in the morning. I don’t want to live my life worrying about the future. I want to live for today, and if something bad lies in store for me in the days to come, then at least I will have been happy now, in the present.”
“You are so wise for your years, Freya,” the Laird said, shaking his head in wonder.
