Page 28 of Sighs of the Highland Wind
“I can’t tell you that,” he answered, his voice a deep growl. “I am too ashamed.”
Realizing that it would do no good to press him any further, Kenna nodded and let the matter go.
“So you learned your lesson?” Kenna smiled at him. “But surely that was not what made you run away?”
“No, but if you don’t mind, I would rather not talk about that,” he replied bitterly.
“You made mistakes, Ewan,” she said in a soothing voice. “We all do. Forgive yourself.”
For an answer, he kissed her once more on the lips, a short, sweet meeting of lips, then pulled her into his arms and said, “Go to sleep, Kenna, and no more nightmares.”
“Goodnight,” she answered.
Then she closed her eyes and remembered nothing else until morning. It was the best night’s sleep Kenna had enjoyed for months.
13
Once Kenna had left for work, Maxwell realized that he had to tell her everything. Their situation was untenable; the room and the bed were too small for both of them, and he was almost constantly hungry, despite Kenna’s best efforts. As well as that, there was the huge problem of the growing attraction between them, which was making it harder and harder for them to stay away from each other.
Holding her in his arms had been blissful, but he knew it could not happen again. Part of the experience of holding her had been the tension of his arousal, which was both pleasant and frustrating. He knew that he could not fulfill his desire, even though the temptation of the warm, soft body lying in his arms was almost irresistible.
As well as that, the whole situation was becoming more and more dangerous for Kenna. She was risking everything to save him, and he truly believed he was not worth saving.
He was standing looking out of the window when something—or rather someone—caught his eye. It was Douglas, who was throwing a ball at Duke. Maxwell eyed them sadly, wishing hecould go and join them, and he chuckled as he watched Duke return the ball that Douglas had thrown for him, a great smile all over his doggy face.
Suddenly Douglas looked up, and their eyes met for a split second before Maxwell jumped back, his heart hammering. He stood still for a full minute before moving again, but as he turned, he realized that Kenna was standing, staring at him. She was holding a plate of leftovers for his breakfast.
Before he could stop her, she peeped out of the window. She had evidently seen the same view that he had. She turned back and looked at him suspiciously with narrowed eyes.
“Douglas and Duke. Why did you get such a fright?”
Maxwell could think of nothing to say for a moment, and he simply stared back at her, seeing the suspicion in her eyes turn into anger.
She looked out of the window and saw Douglas.
“Ewan, you look as if you have seen a ghost.” She waited for one more moment, then stepped so close to him that she was only an inch away. “What are you hiding from me?” she demanded. “Why are you looking at Douglas that way?”
“I used to know him,” Maxwell replied dully.
Kenna stared at him for a long moment, then put the plate of leftovers on the table.
“I will see you later,” she said grimly. “I will try to bring you something this afternoon but don’t depend on it. Every one of the McDonald family is here, and I will be very busy.”
She flounced out of the room, leaving Maxwell staring at the door. He moved over to his food, which was an unappetizing mess of stale bread, cold black pudding, and some scrambled eggs. Still, he knew that he should be grateful for it, and he had to remind himself once more that Kenna was taking some huge risks for him.
He finished his breakfast quickly, glad of the cup of milk Kenna had managed to scrounge up for him, then lay back in bed with another of her books, but he simply could not concentrate on the words. Kenna was suspicious, and although up until now he had been skirting around the issue of admitting to her what he had done, he now felt as though he had been backed into a corner.
It would be impossible to stay even another night, and Maxwell resolved that after he had made his confession to Kenna, he would leave as soon as it was dark, even if the snow was still lying on the ground. His clothes were not warm enough, though, so he decided to see what was available in the stable, where they used thick blankets to cover the horses.
As for food, he would simply steal what he could from the kitchen since he was no longer prepared to put Kenna at risk.
After that, he would not allow himself to think about the future. His hope was to get to his estate of Kirklieth, but if he did not make it…well, everybody hated him anyway. No one would miss him, especially not Kenna. No doubt she would be heartily glad to be rid of him.
Up until she saw Ewan in the bedroom, Kenna had been in a better mood than she had been for ages. She was humming ahappy tune while she filled a bucket of water for cleaning the floors. Then, as she was about to leave, her mother stopped her.
“Ye are in a very cheerful mood,” she observed, smiling. “Did ye have good dreams, hen?”
“Indeed I did,” Kenna answered, smiling.
