Page 33 of Sighs of the Highland Wind
He felt bitterly angry as he saw her backing away from him, but when he reached out his hands to touch her shoulders, she gave a little shriek and cowered away from him.
Nothing could have prepared him for the stab of pain that shot through him at Kenna’s reaction.
“I am so very sorry I frightened you,” he murmured before walking to the window to put a little distance between them. “I want to explain something to you, Kenna. I will be very happy if you believe me, but if you don’t, so be it. Then you must do as you see fit with me.”
Kenna nodded and relaxed a little, but her gaze still darted to the door.
“Kenna, unlock the door,” Maxwell suggested. “That way you can leave if you want to, and I promise I will not stop you.”
Kenna took the keys from her pocket and went to the door to unlock it, giving Maxwell as wide a berth as she could in the small room. He could see that she was absolutely terrified of him as she returned to the bed and sat down. She began to wring her hands together nervously and her eyes, round with fear, never left his face.
Hating that he had scared her, Maxwell nevertheless began to talk.
“I don’t know what you have heard about me,” he said grimly, “but I am not a murderer. I told you that I was not kind when I was growing up, and I am still not the sort of man I would like tobe, but I am not brutal, Kenna. I could never kill a man in cold blood.
“I could never be a murderer. God knows, I tried soldiering for a few months and found that I did not have the stomach for it. Does that make me a coward? I don’t know. All I know is that I cannot bear to see blood spilt.
“Douglas, Lachlan, and I were boyhood friends since our fathers were also close friends. Anyway, when we were in our teens, you can imagine what life was like for us. We were thoroughly spoiled, wanted for nothing, young, unattached men with absolutely no ties and no responsibilities. We enjoyed complete freedom, and I confess I was having the time of my life. I will not lie to you, Kenna. I bedded many women during that time, but all of them were willing. I have never forced a woman into my bed, and I never will.
“However, sometimes we enjoyed ourselves too much and often became so drunk we could not remember what we had done the next day. We acquired a reputation for our exploits, and it was not a good one. Lachlan’s and Douglas’s parents, my father, and my sister tried to stop us, but we would obey them for a while then gradually sink back into our bad old ways.
“This went on for a few years ’til we were all old enough to know better. I almost caused an accident one night by knocking over a maidservant who was carrying a tray of hot food, and that was when I decided that things would have to change. I realized that I might cause serious damage to myself and others, so I cut back on my drinking and tried to leave the young women alone.
“I succeeded to a certain extent. Although I still enjoyed a drink, I never became drunk again. Lachlan and Douglas had made no such resolution, however, and carried on in their usual fashion.
“Although they were my friends and I loved them dearly, I could not bear to see them abusing the servants as they did. They called me a hypocrite when I complained or intervened because I had been just as bad as they were at one time. I had heard the same comment so often that I laughed it off. They were my friends and we often insulted each other, both in seriousness or in jest.
“Anyway, on the night of September the seventh, it was the twins’ twenty-fourth birthday, and there was a grand ceilidh. You know. You were there.”
Kenna put her hands over her mouth and gasped.
“Yes, I was, but I was in the kitchen when Lachlan was…was…” She stared at him in disbelief. “Why did I not recognize you?”
Maxwell shrugged. “I looked a lot different then. I have aged ten years in the past year, and I grew a beard, although you took it away. But I did not recognize you either. If I had seen you, I would never have forgotten you. Anyway, I don’t know what you heard, but I did not kill Lachlan.”
Kenna was puzzled. “I heard that you had pushed him down a flight of stairs.”
“No.” Maxwell shook his head vehemently. “Let me tell you the truth of it.”
Douglas was staggering along the parapet on the parapets of the first row of turrets when Maxwell met him. He was singing an obscene song and was not best pleased when Maxwell met him at the end and blocked his way.
“Let me past, Max!” he cried indignantly. “I need another drink.”
He tried to push past Maxwell, but he was much bigger, much stronger, and much more sober.
“Do you not think it is time you stopped for the night, Dougie?” Maxwell asked gruffly.
He was holding Douglas’s forearms so tightly that the smaller man had no hope of getting away.
Douglas was wincing in pain but was not cowed.
“I have had enough when I say so!” he roared into Maxwell’s face, so close that he could feel Douglas’s spittle spraying over him.
Maxwell knew that Douglas could fall over and do himself some damage in his present condition since he had done it before, and he wanted to protect him from himself. He knew he had no right to do so, but he could not just leave him to hurt himself.
“Do I have to pick you up and carry you?” he asked silkily. “Because I can do that. You know that I have done it before.”
This was true. Maxwell had scraped either Douglas or Lachlan over his shoulder many times, slung them over his shoulder, then deposited them in their bedroom to sober up.
