Page 78 of Sighs of the Highland Wind
When she went into her chamber she found that a few dozen candles were already lit, a fire was blazing in the grate, and a nightdress was laid out on her bed. She was amazed; Mary must have done all this. So this was what it felt like to be treated like a lady, she thought. How much she had missed out on!
She was just about to take off her dress when there was a soft knock at the door. Ava answered it, and found a tall dark woman of her own age standing smiling at her. She looked so much like James that Ava would have known her identity before she introduced herself.
“Good evening,” she said with a nod. “I am Davina Henderson. Are you Ava Struthers?”
“I am,” Ava replied warily.
“My father told me you are going to be married, and I came to offer my congratulations.” She looked past Ava into the bedroom. “May I come and talk for a while? I would like to get to know you better, since you will be my stepmother.
Stepmother? Ava was stunned. It was one reality she had not thought of. “Of course.” She stood aside to allow Davina to walk past her, and she swept past Ava, smelling of some exotic perfume that smelled familiar. It had notes of citrusand cinnamon, and resembled the one she had smelled in the carriage. She felt a little jealous, and was determined that when she was married she and her sisters would enjoy such small luxuries. They would not feel small to them, of course, since none of them had ever had a chance to wear perfume in her life.
Ava sat down and studied the other woman for a while as she took a glass of wine from the decanter on the little table beside Ava’s bed. She offered a glass to Ava, but she declined with a tiny shake of her head.
Davina was taller than Ava and more generously built, with a large bust, small waist, and curving hips, handsome rather than pretty, with strong, well defined features.
When she sat down Davina stared at Ava unashamedly, taking in every detail of her from head to foot while Ava squirmed inwardly. She knew that she was blushing, but hoped the dimness of the candlelight hid it.
“Why are you marrying my father?” Davina asked bluntly.
Ava was a little startled. “Because he asked me,” she replied, puzzled. “Did he no’ tell ye?”
Davina’s mouth tightened and she frowned at Ava’s flippant answer. “Yes, he did,” she replied, “but I wanted to know what made him attracted to a woman like you. I can see that you are very lovely, of course, but you are not really in the same class as many of the other women he comes into contact with.”
Ava had felt a little fearful when the other woman began to speak to her, but her last statement changed her sadness into rage. “Have ye ever been hungry, Mistress Henderson?” she asked angrily, standing up and advancing angrily towards her.
Ava’s eyes were blazing as she stood over Davina, looking down at her. “I mean so hungry that ye could eat grass? Have ye ever had tae wonder where your next meal was comin’ from? I will wager ye have not.”
“No, I have not,” Davina replied, her gaze dropping away from Ava’s. She looked ashamed.
“I am happy for ye, then.” Ava’s voice was almost a growl. “Because I have. An’ let me tell ye, it is no’ a feelin’ I would wish on my worst enemy. I will not lie to ye. I am no’ marryin’ your father out o’ love, but I am sure you know that. I am marryin’ him because I never want to be hungry again, an’ I don’t want my sisters to be either. I think he will be a generous husband an’ I fully intend to be a good wife to him. He will never have any cause to complain about me. Does that answer your question?”
“Thank you,” Davina nodded, after a slight pause. “So you admit you are using him?”
Ava was not offended by the question, because she knew it was true. “I am, but if you were in my position you would do the same.” She stared at Davina so hard that the other woman squirmed in her seat and looked away.
“I see,” Davina frowned and sipped her wine. “So you have no affection for him then?”
“No, ye don’t see,” Ava shook her head. “Let me put ye in a cell for two or three days wi’ nothin’ but bread an’ milk once a day then ye might see. Sometimes that was a’ we had, so donotjudge me, Mistress Henderson! An’ I do not know your father yet, so I can hardly have affection for him, can I? This is a marriage of convenience an’ nothin’ else.” Her voice was a growl.“Now, I am goin’ to ask you a question. Why are ye marryin’ my sweetheart?”
For a moment, Davina looked nonplussed, then she began to twist her hands together in her lap, agitated. It was obviously not a question she was comfortable with at all. At last she said, “because the Laird wishes it so. He wants to put his son in the line of succession even though he is a bastard, and my father wants to be in the Lewis family, however distantly. He thinks it will give him more power.” She shrugged. “Between them, I am helpless.”
Ava suddenly felt a strange kinship with the other woman. They were in the same situation - both pawns in the games of powerful men. “I think we are in the same boat,” she said, sighing as she sat down. Women like them were helpless to get out of their situation. Men held all the power, and probably always would.
Davina sat with Ava for a while longer in silence, both of them lost in their own thoughts, but it was not an awkward silence, since they had established the fact that they had common ground, and were not enemies. They were not friends either, but there was a kind of wary kinship between them that had not been there before.
“Goodnight and sleep well, Ava,” Davina said, resting a hand on Ava’s shoulder for a moment.
“Goodnight to you too, Davina.” When she closed the door, Ava walked over to the fire and held her hands out to it. She felt warmer, both inside and out, and although she was still very troubled, she slept deeply and dreamlessly till morning.
Davina felt scared as she went to her father’s study. He had always treated her strictly, punishing her for every perceived infraction, and had often struck her, mostly with his hand, but occasionally with a leather tawse. She had always been afraid of him, and he had scarcely shown her any affection except when other people were nearby. When she left to go to see Ava, he had instructed her to treat her with as little emotion as possible.
“Just ask her what I told you to ask her,” he had said. “There will be no need to sit there all night.”
Now, as she opened the door and saw him sitting, reading by the fire, she swallowed nervously, hoping she had performed her role to his satisfaction. He was wearing a thick leather belt, and that had sometimes become a weapon against her.
“Davina.” He smiled at her coolly and invited her to sit in the chair beside him. “You have taken rather a long time. Was she troublesome? Tell me what happened.”
Davina sat on the edge of the chair, and took a deep breath. “She made no bones about the fact that she is marrying you for security, Father, but she says she will be the best wife she can to you.” Davina looked up at James Henderson. “I think she is a decent person, Father. I think I will like her, and I think you will too.”
