Page 15 of A Two-Faced Laird
“Forget about that, please,” he said heavily. “Pretend it never happened. Please.”
He was almost begging, she thought.
“I cannot forget it, Lewis, but I will never speak about it to anyone else. I swear.”
She paused and gazed at him as he turned to look out of the window again. His whole body was wound up with tension, and she suddenly felt infinitely sorry for him. Something had damaged this man deeply, and she wanted to mend it, to make him whole again.
“If you ever want to talk about what is troubling you, I am here to listen, and everything you say will stay between us.”
It was the wrong thing to say.
Lewis whipped around and glared at her, his eyes smouldering with rage.
“And what makes you think I would confide in you, Edina? I have not seen you for years—since we were both children, for God’s sake! I do not need a confidant, and even if I did, it would not be you!”
Edina felt a flash of anger, and she stood. She positioned herself beside the desk, closer to the door, not wanting to provoke more of the fury in Lewis’s eyes.
“I-I am sorry, Lewis,” she said, trying to keep her breathing calm. “I had no intention of intruding on your private thoughts. Forgive me.”
She turned on her heel and opened the door, then gave him a regretful glance over her shoulder and left.
Lewis almost followed her. In fact, he was halfway across the room before he changed his mind. He gave a great sigh, then flipped into one of the chairs and put his elbows on the desk and his hands over his face, trying to empty his mind.
His father always kept a bottle of whisky in the study, and it caught his eye as he looked up, but he shuddered. He drank weakale with the guards and at breakfast and two glasses of wine at dinner, but spirits never passed his lips and had not done for years.
He had been almost lost in drink for some time, and had found that the consequences were so great that he had never allowed himself to get into such a state again. As well as that, he had been obliged to drag his brother home from the tavern hundreds of times. No, it was not for him.
Lewis sighed and left for his chamber, where he took off his evening clothes and reached into the bureau where he kept all his correspondence. There he took out a small wooden box which contained a sheaf of Edina’s letters. The earliest ones were written in a childish hand, of course, but as the years went on, they gradually changed to the distinctive sloping script she used now.
The words, too, became longer and more adult, her vocabulary more extensive as the years went on, and as he perused them, Lewis realised that Edina was right. She had consistently asked about Aidan, and although he did not have his own replies, of course, he had always brushed her off with a few words, as if he cared nothing for his brother.
He read one of her letters aloud. He saw by the date that she had been fifteen at the time and was describing her first fitting for a new dress with a whalebone corset.
Dear Lewis,he read.
If there issuch a place as hell, I think I was in it today. I feel infinite pity for the poor creatures who had to sacrifice their lives to make this instrument of torture, which is called a corset. This is my first experience with one, and I am beginning to wishthat I had been born a man so that I never had to look at the gruesome thing again!
I am convinced that the same madman who designed the rack also thought this up. I can hardly move, my waist is so constricted and as for breathing—well, ladies are obviously not expected to indulge in such an outrageous pastime!
Lewis chuckledas he read the last paragraph. This was so typical of the way Edina expressed herself. Granted, he had not heard her speech for several years, and their conversations had so far not been of the humorous variety, but he could hear her saying the words as if she were standing next to him.
The letter went on:
And whatever thiscreation is that they are making me wear, I have no words to describe it, Lewis. It is so fluffy and flouncy that I am almost buried inside it! Apparently, this is the kind of garment you need to go to a ceilidh. I swear that if I am forced to wear this thing more than once, I will set it on fire and pretend it is an accident!
Tell me, is there a lady in your life yet, Lewis? I am quite sure there are some lovely lassies drooling over you by this time! I wish I knew what you and Aidan look like now. Both handsome devils, I’ll wager!
Speaking of Aidan, I have never received a letter from him, and I am quite sad about it. Can you tell me how he is, and ask him to write to me? I would love to hear from him. As for me, I am well, although I would be much better if I could somehow make this dress disappear! I have made friends with a lovely girl called Marion, who lives on the Isle of Barra, and I am hoping to go and visit her soon.
Please write back to me and tell me all your news as soon as you can. I would love to hear from you both.
Love and best wishes,
Your friend, Edina.
“Damn!”
Lewis began to pace the room, shedding his clothes as he went.
