Page 20 of The Shadow of a Laird
He leaned his elbows on the table and covered his face with his hands for a moment before gazing at Maura again. He wanted to laugh at the thought of their ever being friends because after the kiss he knew that his feelings towards Maura had changed. Perhaps they had always been strong, and he had just not realised it before now, or had been too scared to admit it to himself. He knew that he had been attracted to her since the first time he had seen her.
However, now he had to answer her question, but how could he do it without giving himself away? He wanted to tell her the truth, but he would have to be very, very careful. Gavin stood up and moved restlessly to the window, where he could see that the rain was still pouring down with a vengeance. He sighed.
“I was just thinking about the children,” he said. “They seem much happier now, but so many of them have come from tragic pasts. Does Laird Jamieson know about them?”
Maura shrugged. “I dinnae know,” she answered. “I know that if he did, he likely wouldnae care. He sits in his castle a’day an’ does whatever Lairds dae. Why should he care about ordinary folk like us?” Her voice was bitter and disdainful.
“Do you think a better Laird would make any difference?” Gavin asked. “After all, he is just one man among many, and he might be receiving bad advice.”
Maura stood up and moved across to him so that she could look into his eyes. He looked troubled, she thought, and she wondered if he was keeping something from her. After all, he was a stranger who had appeared from nowhere and had come to completely dominate her life. She thought about him constantly, but she did not even know his surname because he had never told her and always changed the subject when she asked.
Now, however, he was asking her a serious question, the answer to which seemed extremely important to him. She took a good look at him; she had never stopped to think about how a man like him had acquired such a powerful physique.
Someone had once told her that in olden times people used to pull ploughs, but she had not believed them. Of course, that would not happen now, but if it did, she could imagine Gavin doing it—he looked strong enough.
But he was obviously from a higher stratum of society than she was; he simply did not fit in here, so what was he not telling her?
“Well, that is a strange question tae ask.” Maura shook herself out of her musings and thought for a moment before answering. “I think a kind man would dae a good job anywhere because people dinnae like cruelty. But a soft character, he wouldnae last five minutes round here.
People can aye see weakness in a person, an’ they will take advantage o’ it, make nae mistake, so a good Laird would have tae be a strong man, but no’ a cruel one. He would have tae treat people fairly an’ help them in hard times. He would havetae protect them. A man like that would have the loyalty o’ his tenants, an’ he would be loved.
I think it has been proven time an’ time again that a good leader an’ a good Laird is worth a hundred ordinary men. Is Laird Jamieson a good man? I dinnae know. We never see him. His steward comes tae collect the rent every quarter fae the tenants,” she shrugged. “An’ that is as close as we get tae him.”
Gavin frowned deeply and was so quiet that Maura said, “Why are ye askin’ these questions, Gavin?”
For a moment, he dithered between telling her his story or not; would telling her put her in more danger because they would know she had been protecting him? Or would it be a case of being forewarned and therefore forearmed? He decided on the latter.
“I know that you have always thought of me as being very mysterious,” he began. “But that was intentional on my part, since I have many enemies, people from my past who want to harm, or even kill me.
However, I was mistaken in thinking I could come here and fade into the background. I stick out like a sore thumb, and I have done nothing to help myself. I wanted to stay out of sight, be the man in the cellar who shifts barrels and milks your cows and does jobs around the house and garden.
I should have done so, but I am ashamed to say that I am accustomed to the attention of ladies and I enjoy it, so you saw a use for that and exploited it.” He raised his hand as he saw the indignant look that appeared on Maura’s face. “I do not blame you for that, Maura. I would have done the same if I were in your shoes. The world is a cruel place, and we have to do what we can to survive, but I was thinking only of myself as I so often do, and I put you in danger.”
Maura’s primitive animal instinct for self-preservation had been aroused now, and she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as she stared at him, thoroughly confused and alarmed.
“You say there are people that want tae harm ye,” she stated. “What kind o’ people? Are ye a thief? A murderer?” She was unconsciously backing away from him as she spoke, putting the table between them as she neared the back door.
Gavin saw the fear in her eyes and felt even more ashamed. He dropped his gaze from hers and took a step towards her, then took her gently by her upper arms and held her until she relaxed.
“You said I was a good man once,” he reminded her, his voice gentle. “Do you still believe that?”
Maura could not deny the truth of that. If Gavin had wanted to harm her, he could have used his sheer strength to do so, but she had recognised his innate kindness since the first moment she met him.
He felt her relaxing, and he was stiff waiting for her answer.
“I still believe ye are a good man,” she replied, smiling.
Gavin turned away and sat down, but Maura stayed where she was. It was time he shared more things about him, since Maura had been nothing but honest.
“Perhaps it’s time I told you a little bit more about myself,” he began. “But first, I need to ask you something.”
“Ask away,” Maura said. She looked a little apprehensive, but very curious.
“If you had a good friend who needed your help badly, would you help them?” He felt as though he was begging, and was embarrassed.
“I would never refuse tae help a friend.”
Gavin took a deep breath. “Would you come away with me to Laird Jamieson’s castle? To be safe? I am afraid that the people who are after me may want to harm you too.”
