Page 33 of The Shadow of a Laird
“Aye, perhaps I will,” she agreed, but inwardly she doubted it would ever happen.
They walked for a little while in silence, then they climbed a little hillock and Ardneuk castle came into view.
Maura stopped walking and turned to him. “I will leave ye here.” She tried to keep her voice from trembling, but she could not. Her heart was breaking at the thought of the man she loved stepping into the arms of another woman.
Gavin tilted her chin up so that she was looking into her eyes. He had never seen her look more beautiful as he took her hands and said softly, “I will never forget last night, Maura.” His eyes were infinitely sad, and suddenly Maura was overcome with the need to tell him that she loved him, but the words stuck in her throat; they simply would not come out.
“I will not let you down,” Gavin went on. “I vow to you that I will be the best Laird I can possibly be. Knowing you has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. You are the most wonderful person I know, but now I must do my duty.”
“I know.” Maura gave him a tremulous smile. “I will think o’ ye often.”
Once again, she tried to say the words that would bare her soul to him, but she could not. She stood on tiptoe and pressed a soft kiss on his lips, then she turned and walked back the way they had come.
Gavin stood looking after for a moment until she disappeared from his sight, then he resolutely strode forward again, swallowing down tears of his own. He wanted to tellMaura how much he loved her, how much being without her would cost him, but if he told her, it would only make things worse for both of them.
Gavin’s heart was aching as he watched his love walk away out of his life. Would he ever see her again? He had no idea, but perhaps it would be better if he did not. It would break his heart to see her happily married to another man, particularly if there were children.
Then he pulled himself together. He could spend his whole life pining for Maura, but it would not change anything. It simply was not meant to be.
It took Gavin another half day to reach Ardneuk Castle, home of the Jamieson family. When he presented himself to the guard at the gate, he was met with a reaction that was a mixture of incredulity and derision.
“May I speak to your master, please?” he asked. “Tell him Laird Gavin Forsyth has come to see him.”
“Laird Forsyth?” the man asked, in a tone of deep disbelief. “Ye cannae be. He’s deid!”
Gavin could quite cheerfully have knocked the arrogant little man to the ground, but he restrained himself, not wanting to make matters worse. “I assure you, he is very much alive, and is standing in front of you,” he said grimly. “Now, may I see Laird Jamieson? Search me if you like, and send an armed guard with me if you think I am a threat.”
The man looked doubtful, but then he glanced across at his fellow guard, who nodded. They patted him down to ensure that he was carrying no weapons, then allowed him to enter through the massive iron-bound gates.
As he strode up to the castle, other guards, all armed to the teeth, looked at Gavin as though they were seeing things and began to mutter among themselves. He had never felt so vulnerable and afraid, but he made his face so expressionless that it might have been carved from stone.
The men held on to his arms so tightly that it became painful, but Gavin dared not say anything for fear of being ridiculed. He had to keep his dignity at all costs.
At last, they reached the door of Laird Jamieson’s study, the guard rapped on it loudly. “Somebody tae see ye, M’Laird!” he called. “Says he is Laird Forsyth!”
A moment later, the door was wrenched open and Gavin stood looking into the dark eyes of Laird Alan Jamieson, which were wide with astonishment and disbelief. He stared at Gavin for a moment, then stood aside to let him in, not taking his eyes off him the whole time.
“Gavin,” he said at last, shaking his head, “I thought you were dead!”
He escorted him to a chair and Gavin sat down with great relief. For a while, he had been doubtful that he would be able to enter the castle at all. The Laird poured him a glass of wine and sat down opposite him.
“What happened to you? We heard that the castle had been taken over and that you had been killed, but your body was never found.”
Gavin sipped his wine gratefully; he had not drunk any of his favourite beverage since the fateful night he was thrown out of his home. Now, it tasted like ambrosia, and he looked into its ruby depths as he went on.
“After my parents died, I became a terrible man and an even worse Laird,” he confessed. “I became heartless, and I treated everyone around me like dirt, drove away my friends, and let the estate go to rack and ruin. The clan elders found their chanceto take the lairdship. They believed no one would stand by me, so they decided to drive me away. No doubt they were afraid I would come back with an army, so they tried to kill me. If it were not for the intervention of a good friend, I would be dead by now.
However, they have found out I am alive, so they are pursuing me. In a way, I cannot blame them because I have become the kind of man I despise. All I can say is that I’m truly sorry for what I did, and if I am given the chance I will do much, much better, but I cannot do it alone.” He looked up. “So I need your help, my Laird.”
“I see,” Laird Jamieson said thoughtfully. “And what makes you think I should help you?”
Gavin frowned. “I thought?—”
Suddenly, the door was flung open and a young woman with long dark hair, whom Gavin knew to be the Laird’s daughter, rushed in. Elspeth’s pretty face was flushed with exertion. Obviously, she has been running, but as soon as she saw Gavin, her eyes widened with disbelief.
“Gavin!” she cried. “They told me you were here, but I didn’t believe them. I thought you were dead. Oh, I am so glad to see you!”
Gavin smiled at her. He had always been fond of Elspeth, and even though he did not relish the thought of marrying her, she was a pleasant young woman with a kind nature. “I am well, Elspeth,” he replied. “And very glad to see you, too.”
