Page 1 of Dirty Little Secret
ONE
SAVANNAH
College is a joke!
Scratch that. Collegeguysare a joke.
Blake has been acting strange ever since I asked him if we could spice things up a little and maybe try role-playing last weekend. He looked at me like I had grown two heads, then laughed in utter disgust. He told me I watched too much porn, but that’s not even half of it. The insults didn’t stop there.Nope.He told me to get on my knees and suck his dick, and that he would picture someone else. He said that imagining someone else was about as far as he would go in the role-playing department, which isn’t even remotely the same thing.
Total fucking jackass, I know.
We got into a huge fight because, of course, I saidno. He didn’t even try to understand where I was coming from. He just stormed out of the room like it was on fire, and continued to party with the rest of his frat without me.
Why is shaming women for their sexual desires still a thing?
Have we not evolved?
I thought college would be the place where I found myself. The place where I could experiment with sex before life got too serious. Blake seemed like the perfect guy to do that with. He ticked all the right boxes at the start, though I was so unbelievably wrong about him.
Hindsight's a bitch sometimes.
Now, I’m left with this insatiable need that won't go away because we can’t—no, hewon’tsatisfy me in the ways that I want him to.Apparently, eating pussy is beneath the captain of the football team.Blake’s teammates all think he’s this amazing guy, and girls literally froth at the mouth when they see him, but they have no idea just how full of shit he really is. Not only is he selfish in the bedroom, but he wouldn’t know what respect or consideration was if it bit him in the ass. Much less, wherethe fucking G-spot is.
Blake is a skilled liar, and I just don’t have the energy to put up with him anymore.
I’m done.
I’ve sent him a dozen text messages and tried to call to meet up, hoping to end things. He may be a jackass, but I’m not, and if I’m going to break up with somebody, they at the very least deserve a conversation and to be told in person.
Blake, however, is ghosting me, making this whole thing drag out longer than it needs to, and I just want to cut all ties and move on.
Fucking coward.
To make matters worse, my stepbrothers are in Blake’s fraternity, and they hate him with a passion. They’ve been hounding me to break up with him for months now, and the last thing I want to hear is their inevitable‘I told you so, Savannah’spiel that will undoubtedly follow when they learn that I finally listened to them. Well, they aren’t the reason behind why I’m breaking up with him. I couldn't care less what my stepbrothers think about who I am dating. Still, something about them knowing what’s good for me sets me on edge in ways I’m not sure I even want to unpack.
Kale and Reign Jagger are fucking hot.
I’m talking weak in the knees, bedroom eyes,panty-dropping kind of hot. I know, I know, I shouldn’t be looking at them in that way, but name a single woman on campus who wouldn’t, and I’ll stop. They are the embodiment of every dark and depraved fantasy I swore I’d outgrow, but can’t seem to quit. Tattooed, muscular bodies, jawlines that could cut glass, not to mention, they have abs for fucking days. Add in the fact that they are twins, and you have yourself a walking orgasm.
It’s so completely wrong in all the ways that have always felt so right to me in my mind. No matter how many times I try to ignore the way my heart flutters whenever they’re near me, or try to convince myself that it’s nothing more than curiosity. A childhood crush I’ve developed because they’re so close to me, yet so untouchable. I can't seem to stop.
Are they the reason every other man feels wrong? Has my mind grown so consumed by them that all the guys I date are nothing more than inconsequential side characters and don’t even remotely come close to those two?
And at times when I think I’ve got everything under control, they go ahead and do something subtle that makes me question whether or not I’m alone in feeling these hidden desires.
The tilt at the corner of theirfull lips when they catch me staring, their fingers brushing against mine as we walk past each other in our hallway when it was unnecessary.
I’ve told myself that I’m only seeing what I want to see—subscribing to the delusion that only I have created. Still, I can't help but sense that Kale and Reign know exactly what they’re doing to me. I can't bring myself to feel ashamed about it, and I don’t want them to stop.
Their best friend, Jackson Graves, is just as fucking good-looking and it kills me when I see the three of them together, shirtless and working out in the gym, or hanging out by the pool at our parents house. The images I conjure in those moments are enough to get me on a one-way ticket to hell, but I don’t care. Not in the slightest. It’s not like they will ever know that I dream about the three of them using me and taking whatever the fuck they want while wringing out orgasm after orgasm from me.
Dear Lord, please forgive me for envisioning fucking my stepbrothers and their best friend.
TWO
REIGN
She thinks we have no idea that she wants to end things with that pipe smoker, Blake. It’s clear as fuck to anyone with a set of eyes whenever they’re together that he’s not good enough for her, and deep down, she knows it.
