Page 16 of Escaped
“Okay.”Her hands reached around me, grasping at my clothing as I edged her to freedom.
Frigid air rushed to greet us, smacking us in the face the way a stiff drink might have done in another, better time, but for once, I was pleased for its welcome.The cold that had once been our enemy was a friend, an indication that, however we’d achieved it, we’d managed to outwit Hawkins.
“Hang on to me.”Leaving the door ajar for when Baron hopefully followed us, I whispered into her hair.“Let’s see if we can find that garage.”
Hawkins wouldn’t be needing the car anymore.
Staring at the path leading away from the door, I was surprised at how little snow covered the area.There were patches of the frozen white stuff on the grass, but the trail seemed mainly clear.Perhaps my disorientation in the chopper had affected my judgment and we’d traveled farther than I’d realized.Or, maybe the storm that had dumped the snow had moved on and the ground had started to thaw.
Lifting my head to the sky, I breathed in the fresh air.There was no way of knowing if the hazy light meant the sun was rising or falling, but I’d never been so fucking grateful to be unsure.
By the time my eyes had fully adjusted to the flooding, pale light, Erin was sobbing quietly into my side, but I acknowledged that, for once, she’d complied, turning away from the carnage behind us and focusing on the only thing that mattered.
Our future.
Chapter Seven
Aftershock
Erin
The world around me was a bitter cold bubble, my body chilled to the bone as we passed the white branches of the trees, but peering up at the desolate landscape neighboring the bunker, I wasn’t sure if the plummeting temperatures were exclusively linked to the climate.The terrain was certainly frozen, but it was nothing compared to the shard of ice puncturing my heart.
I shot him!Frigid terror swept over me again as the memory bloomed.
I had shot Hawkins.
I could scarcely reconcile the deed with my personal impression of myself, but I didn’t deny the facts.I’d shot Hawkins and I’d abandoned his body without so much as checking to see if he still had a pulse.
I straightened at that unnerving idea.What if he’s still alive?
My brow creased, although I couldn’t decide if leaving him alive to potentially enact retribution or leaving him dead troubled me the most.
Hawkins was an unpleasant and immoral person, who’d done evil things.I’d seen that for myself, but did that give me the right to shoot the guy and leave him?
It wasn’t the kind of conundrum I’d ever expected to have to deal with, but wrestling with the weight of what I’d done was beginning to inspire hysteria.My racing pulse sent burning tears to my eyes, and I wanted to scream, wanted to shout and tell the world what I’d become.As it was, though, I was forced into an anesthetized silence, compelled to suffer for my crimes as my lover urged me on to something he called safety.
I fought the desire to look back for the hundredth time.What good would it do?Since we’d passed from the path in pursuit of Hawkins’ elusive car, I knew his body was no longer there for me to witness, and I’d never know what had become of him.He could well have been alive—left to painfully bleed to death beside the bodies of the goons he’d paid for protection, and I’d have to live with that uncertainty.
But I can’t.I pulled in a painful breath.What if he’s alive and bleeding?
The question reverberated, as did the notion of what difference it would make to know the answer.I wasn’t proposing to rush back in there and rescue the slimy fool.I was the one who’d bloody shot him.The truth was, men like Hawkins deserved to suffer.I just hadn’t anticipated being the one to offer deliverance.
I’ddone that.I shot him…
Somehow, it didn’t make sense.How could someone as ‘normal’ as me be involved?What was I doing, embroiled in madness like that?
Lifting my head, my gaze fell upon the torso of the man who represented the answers to all my dark questions—Eli—the cause of all my madness.He was the reason I was there, but he was also the reason I’d lingered long after Hawkins had left me in his office.I couldn’t conceive the idea of leaving him behind, and as he tugged me over the roots of the latest tree, I acknowledged he was more than only a companion.Eli had become essential to me, like the oxygen I needed to breathe.
He was the lunacy I couldn’t live without.
A part of me might have wanted to hate him, should have resented the things he’d put me through and how he’d inadvertently landed me in so much turmoil, but breathing in his earthy scent, I accepted there was nothing but relief swelling in my heart for the man heaving me onward.
Without Eli, I’d have died in the snow, or I’d have starved to death waiting to freeze.He’d kept me alive, even if his life-saving measures had come with a string of tempting caveats.Without him, I’d have never learned more about the woman I was, about the things I enjoyed, and who I hoped to become.Clasping onto his shirt, the idea of a life without him seemed unthinkable.When our paths had crossed, I’d collided with emotions I had no desire to resist.
“Keep going,” he murmured, his breath warm on my crown as we trudged on.“His garage has to be close.”
I risked a glance at the sky to see what time of day it was, regretting the deed immediately when my head started to spin.
