Page 54 of One Night with Mr. Darcy
“Yes,” she said.
“We won’t,” he said, a tremor in his voice. “I won’t fail at this, also.”
“Oh,” she said, feeling disappointed.
He cupped her face with one hand. He rubbed a thumb over her cheekbone. “You are married to another.”
She nodded. “I know. But it’s only ever been you, you know, and… only that once, and I suppose I hadn’t realized how much I missed it, how much I liked it, how nice it is.”
“Only me?” He tilted his head to one side. “You mean…? But how is that possible if he thinks the child is his?”
“I just woke up with him one morning, and he asked if he had and I said yes.” She shrugged. “He has never questioned it.”
“You are resourceful.” He was smiling at her.
“You’re pleased.”
“I…” He shrugged. “Shouldn’t matter. Doesn’t matter. But, no, it’s nice, that’s all, that you’re only mine.”
She bit down on her lip. “But I’m not only yours.”
“I’m eight years older than you, Elizabeth.”
“And a man, and it’s different for men.”
“Would it please you to know that I haven’t in some time, either? I suppose you must be the last woman I’ve touched.”
“But you don’t remember that,” she said.
“No,” he said.
“That can’t be true, Mr. Darcy, really, it can’t.”
“But it is. I had a bit of a wildness as an adolescent, but very little in the way of that as I grew older.”
“It seems a pity you don’t remember. You should have some memory.” She lifted a shoulder. “Perhaps, we could… it would only give you a memory of something, that is all.”
“No.” His voice was hoarse. “But I want to.”
“I only…” She was lonely. His hands made her feel awake and alive in a way that she had forgotten she could feel. She wanted him close, and she wanted him to touch her, to tease her, to make her feel pleasure. More than that, though, she wanted to sleep in his arms. She wanted him wrapped warm and solid and strong all around her. “Please.”
He kissed her and the kiss was harsh.
She clung to him.
He broke away, panting. He took her by the hips and set her on her feet, away from him, and she didn’t like being thrust from him, but she did like how strong he was, how large he was, how he made her feel small when he moved her like that. “We can’t.”
“I know,” she said, nodding.
He got up too. He reached for her, but then his hand halted, and it just hovered there, between them, touching nothing but air. “I should not have come to you. I was weak. It was another sign of my weakness.”
“I think we are both weak in this way,” she murmured.
“All the more reason not to be alone together,” he said. “I should not have come here.”
“Likely not,” she agreed.
Silence. They gazed at each other.
