Page 23 of Knowing Mr. Darcy
But then Mr. Collins arrived, and Elizabeth could not bear to allow Jane to marry that man.
Mr. Collins was a heavy sort of man of five and twenty. He conducted himself with an air of heaviness as well. All of his statements were a bit slow, and he was given to punctuating his speech with silences as if he was conveying something very (silence) important (silence) to the gathered. He spoke at length about his mistress Lady Catherine de Bourgh, and mixed up all of their names, which was to be expected—there were five girls—but he seemed quite offended when he was gently corrected, as if it was Elizabeth’s fault that she was not Catherine and Mary’s fault that she was not Jane.
All of this, Elizabeth supposed, she could have borne, but then there was the interminable knowledge that Mr. Collins never read novels and that his idea of a diverting afternoon was reading Fordyce’s sermons aloud, and that—whenLydia interrupted him—he said that young girls were often uneasy to hear the things they most needed to hear.
Elizabeth cornered Jane and said she must refuse him.
Jane only laughed.
“But that man, Jane, you cannot be married tothat man,” said Elizabeth.
Jane said she would do it for the family, and that it would not be such a hardship. She said she was pleased not to be marrying someone who was far and away much older than her, and Elizabeth said that made it even worse, for he would not die for some time.
When Jane proved impossible to move, Elizabeth went to their mother, and she tried to make the case that it was possible that Jane had caught the eye of Mr. Darcy.
Mr. Darcy with ten thousand a year, she said pointedly.
Her mother listened, nodding, lacing her hands together, unsure of what to say. Now, for the first time, her mother wished Elizabeth to go through everything she had seen and heard at Netherfield.
Elizabeth explained that she’d mostly been confined to the bed.
But had Mr. Bingley attended to her?
Oh, yes, most prodigiously, Elizabeth replied, trying not to sound a bit annoyed with his attentions—not even understandingwhyshe was annoyed with his attentions—she shouldn’t be.
But then she explained about Caroline Bingley. Only, she sort of made it sound as if Mr. Darcy had thrown over Caroline for Jane, which made her mother’s eyes dance with delight.
Then her mother went on a long tangent about how Jane was so pretty that even very rich men must fall in love with her at first sight. “Oh,” said her mother, “but what are we going to do about Mr. Collins?”
“Well,” said Elizabeth, “tell him to skip Jane, I think. Tell him she is as good as engaged.”
“Skip to you?”
“No,” said Elizabeth. “Heavens no! I cannot marry thatman.”
“But you are secure in Mr. Bingley?”
She was not secure in Mr. Bingley, that was the problem. Even if Mr. Bingley was far and away in love with her, she was not sure she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. The more he seemed to fawn over her, the less she seemed to like him, and she did not know why. However, if it were a choice between Mr. Bingley and Mr. Collins… well, there was no consideration needed there. If escaping Mr. Collins was only achievable by securing Mr. Bingley. “I shall secure him,” she promised her mother. “He is giving a ball for me, is he not?”
“Yes, it seems so,” said her mother. “And honestly, Lizzy, I wish we had not been accosted immediately by Mr. Collins, because I have serious concerns that youcansecure Mr. Bingley.”
“I can,” said Elizabeth, who was not sure how she was going to do it, exactly.
“You and I need to spend some time working on your manners and air,” said her mother. “And your responses! You say suchthings, Lizzy.”
“I don’t,” said Elizabeth, who knew that she did.
“I am to tell Mr. Collins to focus on Mary, then?” said her mother.
“Yes?” said Elizabeth.
Her mother sighed heavily. “I suppose we shall see what he thinks.”
Elizabeth thought they should perhaps see what Mary thought, also.
She resolved to speak to her younger sister about it on the following day, when they all walked into Meryton. However, she was distracted from this by a curious interaction that she and her sisters observed.
They were introduced to a young officer named Wickham, who had a fine countenance and figure, a dashing sort of man who seemed all politeness. He had settled his gaze on Jane, Elizabeth had noted, and she had caught that with a sort of thought that she hadn’t done wrong to steerMr. Collins from Jane, for surely Jane would catch the eye of someone-or-other even if Jane was right and Mr. Darcy would never stoop to marry her.
