Page 41 of Knowing Mr. Darcy
Instead, he sat down. “What do you want, Miss Bingley? What do you want from me?”
“I want you to suffer,” she said, still smiling.
“But my sister,” he said. “Why doesshehave to suffer? Or does that not matter to you?”
Caroline scoffed. “Your sister brought it on herself, I think.”
“She did not. You don’t know Mr. Wickham very well,” he said. “Besides, Miss Darcy was very young. I thought you liked my sister. Did you not? Was all your praise heaped upon her simply for the benefit of trying to snare me? Is that it?”
She glared at him. “Snare you? Am I some hunter, Mr. Darcy?”
“I don’t know. Are you?”
She scoffed.
“Do you wish me to marry you?”Oh, why have I said that aloud? I can’t marry her. Of course, if Georgiana is to be saved, I suppose there are sacrifices—
“Never,” she said disdainfully. “I would not marry a man who didn’twantme.”
“Good,” he said.
“Because you remember my castoff dresses, but you never were the least bit interested in me.”
Maybe he had been, maybe once, sort of, not really, but in an off-hand sort of way… and then, those damnable Bennet girls. “Miss Bingley, I have already made a speech admitting that I have behaved badly, have I not? Shall I repeat all those sentiments? How many times would you like me to apologize? Maybe you want me to do it on my knees, prostrate on the floor, or—”
“Oh, stop being sarcastic.” Her eyes flashed.
“Can you not find some way to make me suffer that doesn’t involve watching my sister suffer?”
“I don’t know about that, Mr. Darcy,” she said.
“Please,” he said.
She stood up from the table, clearly enjoying herself. She smiled down at him.
He was at her mercy now. There was nothing to do now but wait and see what she might do. She held Georgiana’s reputation in her hands.
ELIZABETH DANCED TWICEin a row with Mr. Bingley, who didn’t say much. Instead, he gazed at her face and her bare upper arms and he sucked in an audible breath every time they came close during the dance, or anytime they accidentally brushed into each other.
For her part, she found herself gasping too.
If it had been anyone else, maybe she would have said something, tried to break whatever the tension was between them, because she didn’t actually enjoy it. It made her feel vulnerable and this made her feel frightened.
But she was well aware that when she spoke, sometimes she said things that came off too sharp, things that didn’t always sound complimentary. If she’d been dancing with Mr. Darcy, she might not have cared.
However, she did not wish to ruin things with Mr. Bingley, not when he seemed so very taken with her again, not when she might have a chance of bringing this off after all.
Be silent, Lizzy,she admonished herself.
And she was.
Then, they were on the side of the dance floor, and he tugged her glove off and tucked her hand behind his back and linked their fingers. His thumb traced patterns against her palm, and it made her feel dizzy and overly heated.
“I was a cad,” he told her. “I shouldn’t have left the way I did. I shouldn’t have left you there, no word, all alone. I had indicated I would be back. You must have felt very shocked, very hurt. I wouldn’t blame you if you never wanted to see me again.”
“No, I’m all right,” she said. She didn’t like admitting that she had been quite pained by it all. “I suppose I was foolish to have assumed you might want a woman such as me anyway.” She said this while his bare fingers were entwined with her bare fingers, while his thumb moved in patterns against her skin, while she felt breathless and unsure and confused. The closeness of his body made her cognizant of things she had never been quite so cognizant of before, not when thinking of marriage.
He was so very male. She was close enough to see the hint of his stubble under his chin from where his valet must have shaved him before the ball. She was near enough to smell the scent of him.
