Page 51 of Knowing Mr. Darcy
“Seem what?”
“Off-putting, I suppose.”
“Yes, indeed,” she said. “Quite off-putting, in fact.”
“You’re trying to convince me you don’t like him, because you don’t wish me to end this between us,” said Mr. Bingley. “In truth, there is nothing to end. I have not proposed. We are not connected in any official way. I certainly have not spoken to your father. There is nothing here, Miss Bennet, and we have no obligations to each other, despite what you think.”
She flinched, as if he’d struck her. “It has not felt that way to me, sir,” she muttered. “But perhaps men see these things differently.”
“If you really mean that, explain why you stare at him.”
“I don’t,” she said, but without any real force behind it. She knew that she did.
“You do.”
“I don’t mean to.”
“Well, that’s rather worse, I think,” he said.
“I just see him, that’s all. And then, I get sort ofstuck.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake.”
“No, I don’t mean it that way,” she said ruefully.
“How do you mean it?”
She was silent.
“Shall I tell you what I think you might mean?” he said. “I think that you are primarily attracted to me because of necessity.”
“Necessity?”
“I’m not unaware of your situation, Miss Bennet. You have little in the way of prospects. You will live much more comfortably as a wife to a man like me than otherwise. Iimagine that’s enticing, regardless of the fact that you think that I am impulsive, a bit stupid, and not very well-read.”
“Mr. Bingley, I think none of those things!”
He just laughed.
She did, in fact, think all of those things about him. He was right, entirely right. She hung her head. “I definitely don’t think you’re stupid.”
“Abitstupid,” he said. “You forgive me it, I see that. You are surrounded, often, by people you find a bit stupid, and you are used to it. Whatever you think of him, you don’t think he’s stupid.”
“Mr. Bingley—”
“I knew this at the start of it all, and I didn’t mind it,” he said. “We bring things to the pairing, each of us, things that the other lacks. I don’t mind that. But what I do mind, I find, is if you wanthim. I thought I could stand it, and I can’t.”
“I do not want him.”
“Think of how much more comfortably you could live with him, though, with all his wealth,” said Bingley.
“Oh, that is an awful thing to say to me.”
“I don’t think that’s why you stare at him, though,” said Bingley. “My assessment is that you wouldsettlefor me, but you wanthimagainst your will and better judgment. You can’t stop yourself from staring at him. He can’t stop himself from staring at you. He’s sworn up and down that he could never marry you, but he’s obsessed with you.”
“He’s not obsessed with me!”
“Depend upon it, Miss Bennet, he is. I told myself, you’re better off with me. If I set you free, he won’t marry you. He can’t marry someone as deprived of the proper connections as you are, you see. I do think you would be better off with me. The thing is, I would not be better off with you. If I marry you, you’re going to cuckold me with him at some point. It’s just a question of when. I won’t—I can’t—”
