Page 37 of Elizabeth and Caroline
Wealth, she thought, it was a difference between people with wealth and people without it. Though she could not pinpoint why, of course, and it didn’t necessarily hold true, for Queen Charlotte herself had thirteen children. However, yes, the more wealth, the less children, it seemed.
“Yes, if you are primarily in the country, where there is nothing but space and open, rolling hills, and very large houses, it must seem as if one has nothing to do but fill them with more and more babes. But the city, the crush of people, the houses being much more compact, no large gardens, just city streets and all of that, it makes one feel as if there are quite enough people on earth already, thank you very much.”
She cleared her throat. “Well, maybe that is why, Isuppose, but you have a country house, sir, and I rather imagine your mother spent time there.”
“True,” said Mr. Darcy, nodding slowly. “And Lady Catherine almost never leaves Rosings.” He shrugged. “Well, the point is, you need not worry about that, and there are ways to prevent a babe if we wish to wait.”
“What sort of ways?” she said.
“It’s mostly about keeping my seed out of you,” he said. “There are barriers, or I can simply pull out before finishing. It’s no worry, my darling. Please.”
“No worry,” she repeated. “So, you don’t mind if I am not having your babe yet.”
“Not a jot,” he said cheerily.
This is what you wanted, Elizabeth, do not think anything of that,she scolded herself.
“You will someday,” he said.
“Oh, of course,” she said. “Someday.”
“You’re still so young,” he said. “Why, when I was twenty, I would have made the worst father of all time.”
“It’s different for men,” she said.
“Yes,” he agreed. “Even so, giving it a few years, Lizzy, I think it’s wise.” He wrapped an arm around her and kissed her forehead. He rubbed her back with one hand. “From now on, please come to me instead of assuming I am going to be angry with you. You do not do things that provoke anger, despite how you see yourself.”
That feeling again, coursing through her, the relief of it, being accepted by him, not being scolded or reprimanded. She must have spent her entire life being reprimanded, she thought. Her own mother had not felt that Elizabeth’s natural inclinations were very good, and she had been taken to task more often than not. She was a sensitive child as well, absorbing what she heard in church and what she read in books with care. She wished to be good. She did not know why it was so enticing to be bad, however.
And Mr. Darcy didn’t seem to think she was bad at all.
Of course, if that was the case, then… why didn’t he introduce her to his family?
CHAPTER TWELVE
MISS CAROLINE BINGLEYhad the very devil of a time getting herself to London that winter. It was February by the time she managed it, and it was the effort of many false starts and stymied attempts.
At first, she tried—in vain—to convince Charles and Jane to go to London, but neither of them were interested. She first dropped hints and then ended up stating her intentions even more plainly, and that was when her brother took her aside and said that she must tell no one, because they had not made an official announcement yet, as it was still very early, but that his wife was increasing, and that he was certainly not taking her to London in her delicate condition. No, his wife must stay here, in comfort, whilst she carried his babe.
So, then Caroline appealed to her sister Louisa to go and visit.
But Louisa put her off.
Caroline went to Charles about it, and he informed her that Louisa had indicated to him that she simply wanted some time alone with her husband and couldn’t Caroline find something else to occupy her besides trying to get to London?
Her final attempt, the one that worked, was to simply become so much of a nuisance at Netherfield that Charles got fed up with her and shipped her back to Louisa,demanding that his sister take his other sister because he was done with her for the time being.
After arriving in London, Caroline knew she wasn’t really welcome in the house, but then, she hadn’t felt welcome in any of the family houses, not truly, not since their father had died. She hadn’t been her father’s favorite, for her father didn’t play favorites, but she had been the youngest girl, and there had been a special bond between her and her father. He had seen Caroline as pretty and precocious. He had loved her. Her siblings tolerated her, and she knew it was done out of a kind of love, the love borne of familial obligations.
There weren’t people in the world, however, who made Caroline feel as if she were enthusiastically accepted. No one was pleased when she arrived.
Perhaps it wouldn’t have been so painful if she hadn’t known what it was like to be loved that way. If her father hadn’t doted on her, maybe she would never have realized she was missing anything.
Anyway, she sat down with Louisa and made it all plain to her sister. “I am seeking a good match, and Elizabeth, who is lately married to Mr. Darcy, is going to assist me—”
“You two and your matchmaking schemes,” interrupted Louisa, sighing. “Haven’t you given this childish playtime up yet?”
Caroline pressed her lips together, inwardly amused that Louisa thought her own marriage would have come together without the assistance of Elizabeth and Caroline.How do you think you ended up at the same table with him at the whist party at the Lucas house?she wanted to say.Why do you think that he knew that you were partial to dancing reels?But she didn’t say those things. Instead, she said, “Let me be plain, Louisa. I know you wish to be rid of me.”
