Page 48 of Elizabeth and Caroline
“I’ll speak to her,” he said with a nod.
“Thank you,” she said with a small smile. “I’m sorry to pester you so.”
“You are very brilliant, as I have said,” he said, his voice dropping lower. “And I wonder how you would respond to the idea of being kissed all over your body in response to how much I admire that about you?”
She flushed again, pressing her body into his. “You… you…”
“Yes?” He waggled his eyebrows at her.
“Please,” she said, giving him a wicked grin. “Oh, please.”
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
SO, GEORGIANA WASindeed enrolled in a day school in London. It was actually just an afternoon activity, a group of girls who would meet for a lesson in various subjects, from languages to painting to poetry recital, and then have tea together before heading back home.
She did also move into the Darcy town house, and her own household was shuttered for the time being.
Within only a few weeks, Georgiana seemed less like a frightened squirrel, more relaxed, happier. Elizabeth was glad.
Within this time, however, she was not only focused on Georgiana, because she was preparing for a ball. Mr. Darcy was reticent to attend one, but she had finally gotten him to explain that this had little to do with any of the things she had worried it might be about and was only because he didn’t really like balls or large social gatherings. He was not a gregarious sort of person, when all was said and done. So, no, he had not been hiding her away because he was ashamed of her and no, he had not been protecting them both from the censure of others. He just didn’t like balls.
Anyway, he needed to come to this one, however. She would need to be introduced widely, to everyone. Once she’d had a few balls, it might be possible that she could attend balls on her own. It was not out of the bounds of propriety for a married woman to do such things, even if itwere rare. Since she was cultivating an image of being a bit eccentric, she supposed it might work out just fine.
They had not discussed the image she was cultivating since she had brought it to him in pursuit of his sister’s match, but she felt she would still need to employ this ruse in order to see to Caroline’s match, so she was still committed to it.
She had not brought the subject back up because she didn’t wish to be drawn into another argument with her husband on whether or not matchmaking was possible or not. It was not something she found she could be objective about. Every one of his arguments felt personal to her.
Georgiana would not be attending this ball, it had been decided.
After Georgiana had been enrolled in the day school, after she had moved in with her brother and his wife, she had declared that she would not mind waiting until the following year to come out in society, something that her brother had been relieved about. Elizabeth thought it was a good thing as well, giving Georgiana more time to herself to grow up.
Elizabeth did not have time to have the kind of wardrobe she would need eventually made up before this first ball, but she did order one dress to her specifications, and if it went as well as she hoped, she thought she might end up with more dresses like it.
The day of the ball, she climbed into a carriage with her husband feeling alternately thrilled and excited and then full of horror and dread. She could not be sure if things would go well that night or not. They might go rather badly. She had only her speculation on the way it would play out to lean on.
She wished she could go into it with cool surety, but it was simply not possible. No one predicted the future that accurately.
However, she knew she mustactwith cool surety when the time came.
In preparation, then, the entire way in the carriage, shewas nothing but jitters.
Her husband spoke to her; she could hardly respond. She had to ask him to repeat anything he said several times, and then she would realize he was only making commentary like, “Beautiful night, is it not?”
She would then, after he had said it to her thrice, respond limply, “Oh, yes, very beautiful.”
After several of these interactions, he said to her, “Lizzy, are you all right?”
“Perfectly well, thank you,” she said faintly.
“We do not have to do this, you know. I would be happy enough staying home.”
“We do indeed have to do it,” she said with a sigh, though at that moment, she was so full of nerves, she would have welcomed the respite.
Eventually, they arrived at the ball. They dismounted from the carriage, and she squared her shoulders, heart in her throat, looking up the expanse of stairs to the front door. She felt a bit like turning and running, but she took her husband’s arm and they ascended the steps together.
Then, as she walked in the front door, it happened, like magic.
She could not say how she did it, or from whence it came, but when she had told herself she must be cool surety when the time came, some part of her rose to it.
