Page 74 of Elizabeth and Caroline
“Does this mean you won’t send me to the country, then?” said Caroline.
Louisa huffed.
“I’d be most grateful if you’d keep her in town,” spoke up the colonel in a resonant voice. “But if I must chase you to the ends of the earth, I would not mind, I suppose. What part of the country are you going to be sent off to?”
“I would not say that I was going to ‘send you off,’” said Louisa.
“Hertfordshire,” said Caroline.
“Well, that’s not too far,” said the colonel with a smile.
She smiled back.
“We shall quite make this work, Miss Bingley,” said thecolonel. “At least, until you indicate to me that you’re no longer interested, of course, in which case I shall cease and desist.”
“I am very interested,” said Caroline.
“Excellent,” said the colonel.
And then, it all proceeded at a rather breakneck speak that left her nearly breathless. Within a week, she was being invited to tea with his mother, which she knew was an important step in all of this. She must get the countess on her side or else the entire courtship would be all the more difficult.
Luckily, Elizabeth contrived to get herself invited to the tea, and she said that they would simply make Caroline look like the picture of perfection next to Elizabeth, who was so woefully wanting in every way. Caroline tried to tell her friend she did not need to sacrifice for her in that way, for she needed to have a good relationship with the countess as well, but Elizabeth said that the damage was already done, and she didn’t care, anyway, because they were all going to Pemberley soon, Lydia included, because she and Georgiana had formed a fast friendship and were not keen to be separated.
“You don’t mind, do you?” said Elizabeth. “You don’t need me here to do anymore matchmaking, after all.”
“What are you going to do in the country? The Season is just getting underway. It’s the strangest time to leave.”
Elizabeth shrugged. “Things,” she said vaguely.
Anyway, the tea with the countess went well enough, since the countess was quite distracted by the specter of Elizabeth’s shortcomings, and then, only days later, the colonel proposed, and she accepted, and then the plans for the wedding were happening.
The first time the colonel kissed her, Caroline was too astonished that it was even happening to know what to do with herself. She went entirely still, kept her eyes wide open, and froze there, and the colonel’s face loomed large in front of her wide-open eyes. (His were closed.)
He pulled away almost immediately, color flooding hisface, and sputtered some sort of apology, and she felt absolutely wretched.
She sputtered something back, denying his apology. “You must not say that, sir. You only startled me, you see. We must… may we… try it again?”
They were alone together in a sitting room in her sister’s house. Now that they were engaged, being alone was permitted, but they likely would not be alone for long, she knew, because Louisa, proper chaperone that she was, would be back any moment to poke her head back in and announce her intrusion in a sing-song voice, her tone knowing and amused.
He rubbed the back of his neck, wordless, and nodded his assent. “Yes, of course. Try it again, then.” But then, he simply studied her features, his expression quite serious, and did not try again.
She twisted her fingers together and cringed.
“You, erm…” The colonel cleared his throat, casting his gaze up, over her head, at some spot in the distance. “You may not find me pleasing in that way. I am aware that I am not what might be termed, erm, handsome.” His voice had gotten lower and lower as he spoke.
“Of course you are!” she exclaimed, horrified he would say that. “Why, you’re much more handsome than I am.”
“What?” Now, he met her gaze again. “I don’t think that’s true.”
“Well, there is a reason that I have been soundly ignored by all of London society for more than one Season, and I can’t say I rightly understand what it is about me that you are even drawn to.” Though he did seem drawn to her, and she could not deny that he behaved like a man in love.
“Oh, that’s a foolish thing to say,” he scoffed.
“What is it, then, about me?”
“I…” He squared his shoulders, furrowing his brow. “What is it aboutme?”
She touched her chest. “What do I find pleasing about…?” She sputtered again. “You’re quite…”
