Page 12 of Make You Love Me
I sigh. “Doesn’t sound like I have a choice.”
“Not really.” She tugs me into a hug. One I didn’t realize I needed until I’m snug in her arms. “And you know why?”
“I’m afraid to ask.”
“Because you still care for him.”
I start to pull away in protest, but she squeezes tighter.
“And I bet this little exercise makes you finally admit your feelings for him.”
“Alright, that’s enough.” Breaking free, I make my way to the door. Little does she know I’d long ago fallen for Jordan and look where that got me. “I said I would pretend to be his girlfriend. No one said anything about love.”
“You’re right. No one did…except you.”
???
Alone in my office, avoiding reality, I’m unable to focus on anything except Jordan and our predicament. When he texted over the last few weeks, I assumed he’d been drunk at the time or sleepwalking or doing something that impeded his good judgment. Especially since the messages were sometimes incomprehensible or written in an odd shorthand.
It never crossed my mind that the texts might be sincere. That he truly thought his heart was still intact, and I hadn’t shattered it for a second time almost ten months ago. Which is exactly why I didn’t answer any of them.
In his current mindset, I can only imagine the hurt and fear that’s crept in while I’ve remained silent. Snatching up my cellphone, I reluctantly open the text app to reread his messages.
Jordan:wher r u
Jordan:ned to talk to u im n rchmd dnt no y
Jordan:herd u went home hope ur ok
Jordan:plz call me hard to txt
Jordan:gttn out soon
Jordan:hm n richmond 277 smithfld ave 103
Each awkward word he sent stabbed at my conscience. I wish I knew what happened to him. I was too stunned by Josie’s request to ask questions after she left. I’ll corner Sydney before she leaves, but right now, I know what I must do. My thumbs hover over my own tiny keyboard, not knowing how to begin.
Me:Hi. I’m sorry I missed your texts. Are you OK?
This is cowardly. I should call or go see him…or better yet, wait until I’ve wrapped my head around how to act like a girlfriend around him. My thumb reaches over the keyboard to hit the delete button and accidentally scrapes theSendbutton.
Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
Three little dancing dots pop up, showing he’s typing, and my heart jumps into my throat.
Sh—
Jordan:its bout time where hav u ben i miss u im ok only puked thre tims toda
Me:Is that good?
Why is this so hard? Oh, right. Because it’s an absurd plan and only a matter of time before he remembers. A secret hidden in the shadows of his mind and poised to make itself known with the power of a grenade. The devastation could be the same, or worse, the third time around.
Jordan:trying to typ bettr
Me:You’re doing great.
Tears pool and blur my vision. What the hell? I can’t remember the last time I cried. Maybe in elementary schoolwhen my parents told me they were divorcing? Whenever it was, it’s not something I do. I’ve never been prone to showing that kind of emotion, but what we’re doing to Jordan is wrong. My heart cracks just thinking about it, and that truth grenade hasn’t even exploded yet.
