Page 18 of Make You Love Me
“Great. I’ll let you know when I have time to run over there.”
“Hello,” I call to get their attention. “Remember me?”
Their eyes land on me in unison.
“Got anything to eat over there? I’m starving.”
???
Nora
“Can we talk?” Jordan asks me after Josie takes our empty dinner dishes to the kitchen. “Maybe outside?”
“Sure,” I say with more enthusiasm than I feel, rising from the floor and taking hold of the wheelchair handles. Josie flashes me a half warning, half pity glance as we pass the kitchen, and I’ll take it. After our escapades today, she no longer hates me (as much), and I need her. Neither one of us wants to hurt Jordan. It’s why she sucked up her distaste and asked for my help.
While I try not to jostle him, that’s what happens when I push the chair over the floor groves of the sliding glass doors and into the courtyard. “Sorry. Guess I need to work out more.”
“You’re perfect,” he says with such conviction that the gloom I feel about the upcoming conversation twists and burns inside me. Tentacles wrap around my heart and squeeze, reminding me of why I shouldn’t be there. Why leading him on and pretending everything between us isn’t broken is cruel and so terribly wrong.
After setting the brake and closing the door behind me, I sit on the short brick wall, separating their small patio from the next, to gather myself. But flashbacks from our last conversation take over my thoughts and steal the air from my lungs—his glistening eyes when I refused his second proposal. The resolve that hardened his body, telling me he’d never ask again. The heartbreak I felt watching him walk away for the last time. Both of us will relive that pain over again when his memories return. He’ll feel deceived and manipulated—and he’ll be right.
I can’t do this. I can’t lie to him again. He needs to know what happened between us. He needs to hear the truth. But no matter how much this hurts, I can’t say any of that today. He’s unstable, and Josie would have my head if I broke our agreement without speaking to her first. I’ll talk to her to—
“I’ve missed you,” he says, stealing my hand and my focus. His eyes are soft, loving, and processing my every movement.
Straightening, I hide behind a smile. “And I’m glad you’re safe.”
“In the hospital, all I could think about was getting back to you. I think you saved me.”
He raises my hand to his lips, sending fire and ice down my back. I don’t know what to make of it. Goosebumps prickle my skin as his gaze heats my core. I’m used to seeing desire andcomplete surrender in his twilight blue eyes, but it’s the absolute adoration I see now that has tears burning my own.
What the hell?Not again. I’m the one who mops up everyone else’s tears and talks them through whatever issue caused the emotional breakdown. Sydney affectionately named me her therapist in college. Usually, after myclientstalk it out, they realize the issue, person, or hurt wasn’t worth crying over. But Jordan has always been worth it to me. I just couldn’t give him what he wanted and deserved. The other problem, he’s never been able to see me for who I am. He doesn’t knowI’mnot worth the love he offers…but he will.
“How’s your mom?” he asks in that selfless way of his.
“Now that she’s signed the divorce papers, she’s hit the I-hate-men stage. It won’t last more than a week.”
“I can’t remember his name.” His brow pinches as he weeds through the lingering fog and memories. “Was it Terry? No, Todd.”
“Brent,” I correct, instantly regretting it. Since he doesn’t remember the last year, he won’t know my mother’s latest marital victim. It could raise a few flags.
“Oh. Right,” he says, but his face doesn’t match. He’s confused and questioning himself.
“I’m glad I’ll be seeing you at VETS,” I say to change the topic. “With us both in the same city again, we can spend more time together.” After the words spill out, I realize I meant them.
“Me, too. I wish I could do more than just sit here.” He winks, but I see the anguish behind it. He’s used to being active, a necessary piece of a system—part of something great—and feels empty without it.
“You’ll heal and get back on your feet before you know it.”
He nods. “Having this special time with you and Josie is the only thing making the pain, nausea, blackouts, and incessantitching all worth it.” A sideways grin lifts his cheek before he shifts into the chair.
“You’re blacking out?” I ask, the news settling like a load of bricks.
“Yeah. It’s why Josie won’t let me be alone.”
“Don’t blame her.”
“I love her and appreciate her taking care of me, but I hate not being able to do anything for myself. Do you know how weird it is to be bathed by your sister?”
