Page 67 of Make You Love Me
“My color?” he asks, his brow rising.
Lifting the mug to my lips, I say, “You look hot in red,” before sipping.
“Hmm.” He smiles, satisfied with the compliment. And it’s all I need for the rest of the evening.
“Do you not have a joke for my color?”
“I have a joke for just about anything.”
“Well, let’s hear it.” I prop an elbow on the chair’s arm, resting my chin on a fist.
“I’d love to, but it’s your turn again.” He gives me a sorry-not-sorry shrug. “And I want something a little harder to know this time. Your favorite color was a copout.”
“All right. Geez.” I giggle, but the euphoria doesn’t last. He wants something deeper. Something he hadn’t already figured out on his own. There’s only one direction to go to satisfy that request and it’s back in time. Nothing is as deep and depressing as my childhood. “Did you know I also spent time in foster care?”
“No. When?”
“Early high school After the asshole—”
“Got it. No need to rehash that.”
“Thank you. My mother went to rehab for a bit, and I stayed with a couple on a farm. They were the quintessential wholesome duo. The wife cooked three meals from scratch each day—none of that box shit I was used to—and loved to bake. I think I gained ten pounds while I was there. The husband, along with a few part-time farmhands, took care of all the chores and the business side of things. They had cows, horses, chickens, goats, fields of various vegetables, the whole Old McDonald set up.”
He leans closer, giving me his full attention, and my swoon mimics the bubbly girl from earlier. Recovering, I get to the point. “Anyway, they always had music playing while she cooked or he worked. I could never escape it, and turns out, I likecountry music. Now, when I hear it, I think of the only people in my childhood who never hurt me.”
“I’ve never heard you play country music before,” he says softly, touched by the story.
“I don’t. Sometimes it’s unavoidable, but the nuances, the lyrics, and the memories are so…”
“Bittersweet?”
“Exactly. Even though I felt safe and cared for there, I knew it was only a matter of time before they tossed me back to the wolves. And I wasn’t very kind to them. I thought it was in my best interest not to get attached. After all, I was going to lose them, too.”
“Too? Who else did you lose?”
I stare at him, wondering if I should continue. This part of me has been locked away my entire adult life. But looking into Jordan’s thoughtful, sympathetic eyes, it’s easy to see that strategy was wrong on so many levels. The past has driven every aspect of my life despite my efforts to control it, hide it, ignore it. And it’s time to let it go.
“My father left when I was six, and I haven’t heard from him since. My first stepfather, Tom, left when I was nine. He treated me like his daughter, and I trusted him. Loved him. One day, he’d had enough of dealing with my mother’s shit and just left…like I meant nothing to him. The house had a revolving door of stepfathers after that, the next one more horrific than the last.”
Needing something to coat my dry throat, I take a few gulps of cocoa. It had cooled to the temperature of warm chocolate milk thanks to the chilly evening. “My boyfriend broke up with me after high school graduation. His family convinced him I would weigh him down, preventing his life goals from becoming reality.”
“That’s ridiculous,” Jordan says sharply, and I appreciate the conviction.
“Thank you, but looking back, they were right. He was there for me through it all, but as a steadfast family man, he needed someone who fit in with the rest of them. Give him the large family he eventually wanted. He’s best friends with his five siblings, and they’re all raising their children together.”
“Nora.”
“It’s fine.” I wave off his concern and get lost in the intoxicating waves of red and orange rising from the stone pit. I wish for it to soothe me. To change how I feel about the past—about myself. But I learned at an early age that wishes never come true. If you want something to happen, youmakeit happen. No invisible being or magical universe is going to give you anything.
The fire cracks, sending sparks into the air and awakening me from my thoughts. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath. “So sorry for that mood dampener. Today was about having fun.”
“I had fun,” he says sweetly, holding my gaze. The flames light only part of his face, just enough to see the tender way he’s taking me in. Oh, how I’ve missed that look. “Did you?”
“Of course. So much that I don’t want it to end.”
He smiles, and my body temperature kicks up a few notches. “I have an idea.”
“What is it?”
