Page 94 of Make You Love Me
“I’m starting to worry that you’re taking me to a serial killer’s house, and I’ll have to whip out some of my training to protect us.”
“Even in your condition, I have full faith you can take him.”
“How sweet.”
She lets out a laugh before a deep pothole rocks the car and a dilapidated house with white, wide-plank siding and a crooked porch comes into view.
“Seriously, what is this place?” I ask, taking in the surrounding scene—overgrown shrubbery, boarded windows, peeling paint, a rusted, bent trampoline, and large trees in the front and back yards with fallen branches littering the ground underneath.
When Nora doesn’t answer, I glance her way. Her eyes are unfocused and glossy, locked on something in the distance as if reliving memories.
“This is my childhood home. I have many wonderful memories here, but equally as many depressing ones.”
“Why did you want to come?”
She shrugs and looks out the driver’s side window for a bit before answering. “I don’t know. It seemed harmless a few minutes ago—a private way to complete another one of your wishes.”
“Does your mom still own this?”
“Yes. It was originally my grandparents’…on my dad’s side. He inherited it, and Mom received it in the divorce settlement, mainly because she had custody of me, and it was the only home I knew.” She sighs. “Plus, my dad was the one who walked away.”
“Do you know where he is now?”
“No. Never heard from him again. Or my first stepfather.”
I can’t imagine not having my parents on my side growing up. They would have done anything for me and Josie, including working multiple jobs to ensure we never went hungry and had clothes we were proud to wear. When they were around, they made sure we knew how much they loved us. We played games, ate meals together, and made memories I’ll always cherish. Nora had only a few wonderful memories from her childhood, all punctuated with abandonment and heartbreak.
“No wonder you hate relationships,” I empathize.
“I wish the revolving door of temporary fathers would have made me want the opposite. But ironically, it turned me into what I hate most about my mother.”
It takes all of one second to assemble a convincing objection, but she squeezes my hand to stop me from voicing it.
“She can’t commit to one guy for very long and when she does, it’s never a genuine commitment. She jumps from one bed to the next, chases pleasure, and runs away when maintaining her happiness requires a little effort. The ironic part is she has no clue what makes her happy. She’s so terrified of being abandoned that she drives people away before they can do just that. It’s maddening.”
“Do you believe that happened to us?”
“In a way. For one, the merry-go-round of lovers my mother had messed with my view of relationships. The few good ones she somehow attracted in the beginning treated us both well, and I got attached.”
“And you felt abandoned when they left.”
She grins in agreement. “When I was young, I didn’t understand why. I didn’t realize my mother was sabotaging everything until I got older. At some point, she switched to men that were just as crazy and fickle as her.” She pauses, and I wait for her to collect her thoughts. “The front door used to be painted a bright yellow. I still can’t see that color without thinking about the nightmare this house became.”
Air hitches in my lungs. I hadn’t thought about the horrific attacks she endured happening here. With her mother’s lifestyle, I assumed they’d moved around. An ignorant error. “Nora, we should go. You’ve been through enough here.”
“No. I didn’t realize how much I needed to let all this go until I saw it.”
“Do you want to go inside? Is it safe?”
“Probably not, especially for you.”
“There’s no way I’m letting you go in there and through this alone.”
At the declaration, tears fill her eyes, poised to spill at any moment, so I continue before she sees how her pain chokes me.
“I will always have your back. When you have mountains to climb, I want to hold your rope. When the weight of the world feels too heavy, I’ll carry a load. When you need to cry…”
Her shoulders shutter as tears fall and coat her cheeks.
