Page 3 of Mistletoe Misses
Emotion chokes her as she shakes her head, mirroring me when I step closer. We do this ridiculous dance, cold, empty space growing between us until she turns and dashes into the darkness. The sound of my frantic voice echoes after her as all I’ve ever known and loved disappears.
Chapter 1
Nine Years Later
Maddox
Admin leave? For how long?” The words shoot out of me like arrows, the sharp points aimed directly at my judge and jury.
Captain Emory sits across the desk from me, his arms folded over his uniformed chest. His Boston Police Department badge nearly disappear in the creases of his soft physique. The hard stance tells me he won’t be receptive to whining. “At least thirty days.”
“Thirty days?”
“You know the protocol.”
“I saved lives.”
“And ended another. Don’t forget that, Maddox.”
“Fine.” He only calls me by my first name when he has no patience for my bullshit. “What project do you have me working on until this nightmare is over?”
“Time off,” he accentuates. “Not light duty. I expect you to clean out your locker and take a break until the investigation is complete.”
“I can’t just … hang out in Boston.”
Captain is more than my superior, he’s a friend. He understands this so-calledbreakwill hit me hard. Yet, he stares me down, absolute in his decision.
“What am I supposed to do?” I ask, sounding more like a defiant teenager than a veteran cop.
“It’s a big city. Find a new adventure or club or go visit your family.”
The casual mention of stepping foot in Ember Falls again makes every cell recoil and nosedive into a dark hole somewhere inside me, probably the space where my heart used to be. My hometown is the last place I will go. There must be a thousand ideas better than that one.
“How about taking up a hobby or making some new friends outside of work?” He sighs, realizing I’m barely listening. “Take a hint from Adrian. He’s going on a cruise this summer.”
“Absolutely not. All I need is this job.”
“That’s the problem.” He lets out a long breath again, propping his elbows on the desk. He’s about to give me a good old-fashioned talking to, and I’m expected not to zone out again. If he didn’t have two ranks and a decade of service over me, I’d tell him where to stick his advice. “You’ve already forgotten who you were before you put on a uniform. Your service to our country and this city isn’t everything.”
“It is to me.”
“For goodness’ sake, Maddox. You’re only twenty-seven years old. You can’t keep grinding away here non-stop, wasting your life. You’re worn out. It’s time to step back and think about what you want out of life before the job’s the only thing you’ve got.”
His massive hand slams down on the desk to stop the rebuttal my open mouth tells him I’m gathering. This is bullshit.
“I can pile on more conditions before I let you come back.” His hard features soften, cooling the fire blazing in my core. “Maddox, you’re like a brother to me, I care about you. When was the last time you did something for yourself?”
My silence provides the answer he already knows. I don’t take off. That’s not who I am and keeping busy helps me ignore memories I rather not relive. Rushing from one emergency to the next during a twelve-hour shift provides little downtime to think about my past. No rogue thoughts to poke holes in my sanity, pick at old wounds, and make me long for something I can never have.
“December is a few days away,” Captain continues, capturing my fickle focus again. “I don’t want to see your surly ass until after New Year’s. Or, better yet, after you’ve figured this shit out. Hit the road, take some time away, but steer clear of the station. Don’t come back the same Maddox. If you do, I predict we’ll all be going toyourfuneral soon.”
“Damn, Captain.”
“Got your attention now?” He sits back in his chair and waves a hand toward the door. “Go on. Get out of here.”
With a dutiful nod, I head out without grumbling. It’s not like I have another option, and arguing will only make him more eager to kick me out, maybe for good.
I reach for my badge—the only thing, other than my Army dog tags, that defines the man I’ve become—flip open the pin and stuff it in my pocket. If I lose this job, my purpose and drive to get up each day will vanish with it.
