Page 31 of Mistletoe Misses
She nods, then all eyes cut to me. I’m trapped. “Sure.”
The mayor refocuses on Nana and her pies, and I dart upstairs. With her scheming complete, Nana no longer seems to care if I escape my entrapment. Frustration pours out of me with every clash of the sledgehammer against crooked, wooden cabinets in the kitchen. Since they’re not in good enough shape to salvage, they get the brunt of my pent-up anger.
Twenty minutes later, I plow through the shop to get to my truck out front with my toolbox and ladder in hand—begrudgingly, of course. In my befuddled state, I’m more than startled to find Carmen leaning against the side. I’m flustered and furious, and alarms are going off inside my brain. Her long hair is now braided into pigtails, and she’s added one of those winter, knitted hats with the furry ball on top. It gnaws on my nerves how good she makes that ridiculous hat look.
“Hi,” she says sweetly as if we haven’t spent a day apart.
With a grunt, I stalk to the tailgate and slide the tools into the bed.
“I thought I could hitch a ride with you if you’re okay with that.”
“Do what you want.” What a shame the lightness I woke up with didn’t last. I could use that zen to get me through this unsolicited encounter. I don’t like how she keeps popping up and catching me off guard.
“Is it me?” she asks cautiously after we climb inside, and I start the engine.
“What?”
“Your mood. Is my being here upsetting you?”
“No. It’smybeing here that’s upsetting.” More came out than I intended, and I’m internally cursing myself as I back out of the parking spot.
“Because of me.”
My head whips to her without permission, and the friendliness she greeted me with at the shop is now cautious remorse. Good.ThatI can deal with.
“It’s complicated.”
“If it helps, I’m glad you came.”
It doesn’t. It feels more like an ice pick to the back of the neck. “Why?”
“You may not be willing to accept this, Maddox, but I think of you fondly. Something inside me still flutters when I see you, and I will never forget what we had or how much we loved. What we had was special, and the worst mistake I ever made was throwing it all away.”
“Carmen—”
“I know this is a conversation better suited for another time, but in case you can’t give me that, I wanted to tell you while I have you captured.”
She attempts a half-smile to soften the sharp edges of her confession, but they feel more like jagged slashes across my tender scars. Wounds both from her ripping out a piece of myheart and too many years spent longing for someone who didn’t want me.
And now, the thought of forgiving her or stitching together the pieces of me she severed with the force of a blowtorch seems damn near impossible. I doubt that was the intent behind what she said, but if we were to try being friends or more again, I wouldn’t survive losing her a second time. And Iwouldlose her eventually. If I wasn’t good enough for her then, when my heart was whole and wide open, I’m far from worthy now.
“Maddox.”
My arm jerks from the sudden punch of heat her touch sends through me, and the truck swerves.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“It’s fine.” I say that a lot, and it’s still difficult to believe.
“No, it’s not. Talk to me.”
With a hard push on the brake, I shove the truck into a parking space and shut off the engine. “We’re here.”
???
Carmen
Maddox jumps out of the truck before I can get a full read on his state of mind. From what he did allow me to see, it wasn’t promising.
