Page 42 of Mistletoe Misses
Cooper:Never mind. I guess that means you took your brother’s awesome advice and talked to Carmen.
Me:Easy guess.
Cooper:And?
Me:We’re seeing each other again tomorrow.
Cooper:Again? Wow.
Me:It’s a long story.
Cooper:You want to go, right?
Me:I think so. She said she has feelings for me and wants another chance.
Cooper:Wow. Didn’t see that coming. How do you feel?
Me:Confused.
Cooper:It’s all making sense now.
Cooper:You don’t have to go through with it if you’re not ready.
Me:I think I want to. Need to.
Cooper:OK. Stay in control and get what you need before deciding what you want. Everything else is bonus.
Cooper:Signing off. The guy in the chair next to me is snoring, and if he starts to lean my way, I need to be ready.
Me:To provide a comfy shoulder or punch him?
Cooper:What do you think?
Shaking my head, I set the phone down, and my thoughts go haywire in the silence. I have a thousand worries about seeing Jada and Carmen soon. Like Cooper, I’ve been trained to anticipate the worst-case scenarios before they happen. It’s easier to protect yourself and others if you know what to expect. With so many hearts on the line and no clear idea of what might happen during the upcoming not-a-date gathering, I can’t stop my brain from racing through all the possible outcomes. Although running away isn’t a viable option this time, it the first one to populate.
Having to mitigate Jada’s feelings already has me on edge. Add in Carmen’s presence to the mix, along with my own unpredictable emotions, and I might as well toss myself over the cliff now. Until last night, I’ve barely managed to be in the same room as Carmen, and I have no idea how I will react to spending all day with her, much less another woman. At. The. Same. Time.
My muscles tighten in anticipation of so many unknowns, drawing Trixie to my lap as if she feels it too and wants to help. Maybe she’ll be my therapy dog while I’m here. If her special kind of therapy helps, maybe I should adopt a dog to take back to Boston. It might be what I need to stay on track there and out of Captain Emory’s office going forward.
Chapter 10
Maddox
Arriving at the Rubber Ducky Sled Race registration area in Adeline Park on the edge of town, my eyes land on Carmen and Sadie bundled together by the fire pit ahead. All the prep work I did to prepare myself for this outing evaporates, and just like that, I’m knocked back to ground zero.
Where’s Trixie when I need her? It was stupid of me to leave her with Mom, but I already had two women to juggle today and thought I couldn’t handle one more. I know how that sounds, but I’ve been here for less than five minutes, and I’m lost already. I need Trixie and her sweet, cuddly distractions to help me think.
Seeing Carmen again as the nurturing, devoted mother I always knew she could be throws me off balance. Is it wrong that I’m wildly attracted to that side of her and eager to know more? The problem is her other side—the one that makes my heart instinctively brace behind an armored shield while it installs flashing caution signs in all directions. My internal back-off defense mechanism.
But I can’t keep letting the past dictate my present, can I? I need to tear down these barriers and reclaim the peace andcontentment I once had. For too long, I’ve been trapped in the cold, lifeless shadow of what was, too afraid to hope for what could be.
Determined, I urge myself to move forward, to take the first leap toward Carmen. But before I get off the ground, Jada and Easton join me, their presence a stark reminder of the promise I forgot about during my daydreaming. I freeze, caught between two women as Jada’s gaze follows the focus of mine. Her smile dips ever so slightly, and that small crack in her sunny composure means I’m being a jerk already. I hurt her feelings at the very start of our not-a-date—albeit unintentionally—but she quickly recovers with a resilience I wish I could muster.
Going from a view of Carmen to Jada is a blow to the system, and my thoughts stumble over themselves to get to my lips. A one-word response is all I can muster. “Hi.”
“Duckies,” Easton says, pointing at the entry table full of rubber duckies in every color.
“Yes, sweetheart. We’ll get one soon.” Coming back to me, she rests a hand on my arm.
