Page 43 of Mistletoe Misses
Her touch doesn’t have the same effect on me as Carmen’s. In fact, I have no response at all. She’s an attractive, vibrant woman vying for my affection, and I feel nothing.
“Thank you for coming,” she continues. “I’m sure you have plenty of places you’d rather be.”
Without permission, my gaze shifts to Carmen through the trees. Is that where I’d rather be?
“Maddox?”
“Sorry.” For a distraction, I lean forward to see Easton beside her. “What color duck do you want, buddy?”
“Blue.”
“Best color ever, especially for cops like your dad and me, right?”
“Right!” He jumps into the air to smack the hand I held out for him. “I want to be a cop.”
“That’s awesome. Your dad would be so proud. Now, let’s go get that blue duck to honor him.”
Easton bounces up to me, and I lift him onto my shoulders. While Jada checks him in with the volunteers, we make our way to the fire pit. Sadie sees us first and jumps up to give me a hug.
“Hi, Easton.” She waves up at him, and his heels bang against my abs with excitement. “Are you ready for the race?”
“Yeah!” He shows her the duck he chose. “What color is your ducky?”
Sadie reaches into her coat pocket and holds up her red one for him to admire.
“Nice to see you again, Carmen,” Jada says, peppering in some forced patience. If she stood any closer, I’d be holding her, too.
“I love your scarf.” Matching her tone, Carmen holds her position. She made her intentions concerning me known the other night, and her unwavering eyes seem to be giving the same message to Jada.
“Thanks.” Jada turns to me, her arm hooking with mine in a show of possession. Guess she has some intentions of her own and isn’t pleased with Carmen and Sadie crashing our not-a-date. I’m still clueless in the what-to-do-next category. “Shall we head to the creek and prepare Easton for launch?” Jada asks, pointing me toward an answer.
“Great idea.” Carmen takes Sadie’s hand. “We’ll come, too.” She flashes a grin at us both and heads toward the trail.
The long walk to the top of the hill is a silent one, except for Easton and Sadie’s random chatter about the things they see along the way. To traverse the narrow, wooden trail, Jada leaves her post beside me to help Easton over rocks and roots in ourpath. Sadie and Carmen guide the line, and I’m the caboose on this awkward train with a full view of my two options.
The weight of their pasts has molded the very different personalities of each single mother. Jada’s grace and resilience, after enduring unfathomable loss so early in her marriage and raising a young child alone, is something I deeply admire. Her sweet personality and gentle spirit offer a calming change. Around her, I’m as relaxed as I can be in unfamiliar territory but also unaffected.
Carmen, on the other hand, sends me into a tailspin if I simply think of her, much less see or hear her. She sacrificed the career she worked her entire life for to raise her friend’s child—a testament to the selflessness I’d been drawn to growing up. She made me want to be a better person. To put others first and go after what I want without hesitation as she did. But that drive of hers destroyed me once, and it could do so again.
When she asked for a second chance, I wanted to believe we could find our way back to each other. But trust, once broken, is not easily mended, especially after all that’s happened. If we were to become something other than exes—friends or otherwise—I need to be able to trust her. Without it, we have nothing.
Outside of Jada and Carmen, and whatever it is they want from me, their children have already woven me into their lives with innocent ease. With Sadie and Easton, there’s no questioning where I stand or how I feel. I’m a lost cause, hopelessly devoted to them for as long as they’ll have me.
“Over there,” Carmen calls as we come to a snow-covered clearing. Next to a coffee and donut stand is a craft area for the kids to make a sled for their duck out of cardboard, popsicle sticks, plastic piping, and more. Once Easton and Sadie start construction with Parks and Recreation volunteers, she says, “I need some coffee. Anyone like to come along?”
“I already had some this morning, and I should stay in case Easton needs help,” Jada answers and waits for mine.
It’s a test. The direction I choose—go with Carmen or stay with Jada—will speak volumes about where my heart is leaning and change the entire direction of this train for the rest of the day. Nope. Not doing it.
“You go ahead,” I tell Carmen, and Jada beams until I say, “Be right back.”
Before she can protest or hold me there with questions, I walk in the opposite direction as Carmen with no plan. Hopefully, I’ll see something that will save me soon. I didn’t think it through when Sadie asked me to come with her today. I could only think about making her happy, and in doing that, I made it infinitely harder on myself.
I pass a few families standing by heaters and more at the trail’s exit. Approaching the information table, a woman in a white jacket and fluffy earmuffs waves me over.
“Hi, Maddox. What are you doing here?”
There’s that question again, and per the usual, I’m starting to wish I weren’t.
