Page 46 of Mistletoe Misses
“I’m glad he’s having fun.”
“It’s because of you. Would you let me treat you to dinner after this to thank you?” she asks, and I admire her boldness.
Any man with half a brain would jump at an opportunity to say yes to that question. Where I stand on the topic is a mystery. My life feels like an unassembled puzzle with no picture or guide. All the pieces of something great are there; I just have no idea how to put it all together. Because of that, I don’t deserve the effort she’s giving me.
Grabbing my arm, she stops me and waits until Carmen is out of listening range. Her eyes raise to mine. “I know you’re trying to find your way while you’re here, especially where she’s concerned.” She tilts her head in the direction Carmen went.
My expression must have exposed my shock, making her say, “There are no secrets in this town, Maddox. It’s the first thing I learned.”
“Jada—”
“I want you to kiss me, Maddox,” she demands, her voice trembling as it floats on a heavy sigh. She grabs hold of my coat and pulls herself closer. The scent of her sweet, coconut shampoo contrasts with the pines and saturated ground around us, and I’m just as confused. What happened to her tranquil nature? Where is this desperate plea coming from? “I beg you to put me out of my misery. Kiss me and tell me you don’t feel the same attraction I do.”
“Jada, that’s not a good idea.”
“Is it because she’s here or is it me?”
“Whether Carmen’s here or not, this is not the time or place for that kind of exploration.”
Her eyes flicker between mine, trying to read me. I reach for her hand. “Let’s talk privately afterward. Okay?”
“I’d like that.” With an unsteady smile, she lets go of my hand and slips both of hers into her coat pockets. “And you’re right. Thank you for not treating me like a crazy person. I have no idea where that came from.”
“It’s okay. Women ask me to kiss them all the time. It’s kind of a curse.” I force my lips into a broad smile, a sign that I still see her as the amazing woman she is.
“You’re the best. I hope you know that.”
“I’m working on it. Come on. We don’t want to miss the excitement.”
???
The annual Spectacular Rubber Ducky Sled Race went off without a hitch. Neither Easton nor Sadie won, but that didn’t matter. They had a blast watching their ducks get lost in the madness and being kids. Often, during the race, I envisioned myself doing this with them again next year, then forced myself not to. Nothing in life is guaranteed, and I haven’t a clue where I’ll be in a month, much less next year.
Soon after collecting his duck from the finish line, Jada took Easton home to rest, the excitement of the race wearing him out early. She didn’t bring up dinner or my promise to talk, and I wonder if there’s a reason.
I attempted to keep my focus on the kids and not any one woman in our weird not-a-date triangle. Maybe my effort to avoid upsetting them by staying neutral did exactly that. Maybe Jada noticed I’m not neutral at all—only pretending for her sake—and that’s just as painful. But given my surroundings, I resign to worrying about Jada’s feelings later. No way will my wayward thoughts and the events of today let me sleep tonight, giving me plenty of time to figure something out.
“I think this is the most fun Sadie’s had at this event so far,” Carmen says after the three of us travel to the hot cocoa stand downtown.
I watch her rub her hands together and bounce through the cold evening breeze. Whenever she would do that years ago, I’d hold her inside my coat until she stopped shivering. I wonder if she’s testing me to see if the old habit lingers within. Just because I remember doesn’t mean I’ll take the bait.
“I’m glad,” I finally say. “She deserves to be a kid every now and then.”
“I tell her that all the time.”
While we wait for our orders, she leans on the counter to face me, her eyes gently challenging me to stop resisting the magnetic force trying to bring us together. At least the Maddox temptation competition has ended, and there’s only one woman trying to win my attention. Much more manageable… if it weren’t Carmen.
Collecting our steaming cups, we find a picnic table under the heated tent nearby. Sadie sits across from us and says something to Carmen, but I can’t comprehend it. My brain blocks every other sensory input except where Carmen’s body connects to mine—shoulder, hip, thigh, foot. She’s so close I can smell her shampoo, starting a competition of my own. Desire and caution course through my veins, and I have no idea which will win out if I’m presented with a choice.
Especially when I can’t stop wondering how it would feel to hold her again. To experience her surrender as if I’m the only man she’s ever craved. To follow the curve of her body with my hands, claiming her as mine. That’s the desire talking.
My cautious side waves another flag. Giving in to that fantasy solves none of our issues. Our connection is far more complicated than sexual desire and gravely wounded. Withthose scars on my mind, avoid and escape instincts have my leg twitching under the table.
If it weren’t for Sadie’s energy and the line of curious Ember Falls residents stopping by, I might have found an excuse to remove myself. But alas, the town seems to have sent out a Maddox and Carmen flare, calling everyone to this location to ask all their not-so-subtle questions and keep us here longer than intended.
The news of our being out together will be the talk of the town tomorrow. Carmen seems content with the entrapment and rumors that will spread like a pandemic after this. I, on the other hand, am still floundering to work through the twists and turns of my evolving emotional maze where she’s concerned.
The gossip line eventually ends, and I’m exhausted. After walking the girls home, Sadie rushes inside their apartment, leaving me and my awkwardness alone with Carmen in the hallway.
