Page 54 of Mistletoe Misses
“Did you feel it?” I find the nerve to ask. I have to know.
His hands dig inside his pants pockets. “Yeah. Too much.”
The good news bubbles through me like a sugar rush, and I can’t stop my grin from giving away my satisfaction. “I’m glad.” Taking the rare encouragement, I cross to him and reach for his hand. “Are you okay with that?”
“With what?”
“Feeling our chemistry alive and well and then some.”
His free hand tucks a lock of hair behind my ear, his eyes following. “I’m getting used to the idea.”
I’m grateful for the smile he adds as punctuation to that statement because I couldn’t read him. He’s stoic again, pensive, and even that is sexy. The man has a thousand different expressions, and each one makes me swoon. “Good. In case you’re wondering, I’m already there, waiting for you.”
He lowers his head for a safe, tender kiss before saying, “How about we start with a date? Just the two of us?”
Best idea I’ve heard in years. I’m doing cartwheels inside, but I play it cool to not set off his flight reflex again. I’ve already gotten far more than I expected and probably deserve. “Seems like the next logical baby step. I’d love to go on a date with you.”
“How about dinner sometime next week?”
The ambiguous time frame means he’s still hesitant to accept the notion of us. He may be getting better at being near me, but our history hasn’t been completely forgotten. If raising Sadie has taught me anything, it’s patience, and he’s worth waiting for.
“Next week sounds great.”
“Will you and Sadie be coming over for the Sunday get together? Aaron and Kendall will be home by then.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful. We plan to be there. We’ll probably head downtown for the Spectacular events afterward. Maybe we can persuade you to come with us.”
“We’ll see. Sundays are my only drama-free day to work on the bookshop since it’s closed.”
“Alright.” I hold back my disappointment and put on a smile. “If you need a break, there will be a bake sale and plenty of holiday activities to re-energize you.” Good grief, I sound like a low-budget commercial.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” When awkwardness switches off the current bouncing between us, he calls for Trixie and ends the night before I can find another reason to delay the inevitable. “Will you tell Sadie good night for me?”
“Of course.”
Collecting Trixie when she trots over, he pecks my cheek on his way by. I watch him escape down the hall and disappear into the stairwell, marveling at him yet again. I’m worse than a cheap commercial. I’m a cliché romantic comedy with dramatic overactors and a predictable plot.
Beautifully broken male character guards his tender heart from the female character because he’s been hurt before and doesn’t want to ever feel that again.
Female character pines after him all hours of the day and night, always coming up with ridiculous excuses to spend time with him in hopes of tearing down his walls once and for all.
Whichever absurd scene I’m acting out each time we meet, I know our second chance movie will have a happy ending if my beautifully broken Maddox can release his big, tender heart from its cage.
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Maddox
Arriving at the apartment before sunrise, I’d planned to make some progress before the Sunday gathering, but I’ve accomplished next to nothing with Carmen’s kiss on the brain. Doesn’t help that the location where it happened and the woman herself are just a few feet down the hall.
Standing outside her door last night, I promised myself I wouldn’t get carried away. That I’d stay controlled and use the moment to assess my ever-changing mindset where she’s concerned. Want her. Run away. Give an inch. Take two. Let feelings in. Empty them out and start over. I thought I could handle touching her like that. I thought I was strong enough.
At first, I was proud of myself for keeping the kiss somewhat contained, but damn, if she didn’t destroy my every expectation and send my dormant desire into overdrive anyway. Fire shot through me everywhere her body pressed against mine. Then, who we once had been flooded my thoughts as if we’d never lost it, and I panicked. Especially when that moan of pleasure fluttered in her throat and sent my resolve to keep things in a safe zone up in flames. I could feel myself crossing every line I drew and had to take a step back before I did something I shouldn’t.
That’s when regret set in, and it hadn’t let up since. I wish I would have shown more of me, but I’d been afraid to scare her, let her down, disappoint her. Would I be enough? Would she feel the same after experiencing that side of me? Would it ruin how far we’d come? I couldn’t get out of my head and allow myself to truly enjoy it. And even I know how ridiculous and stupid that is. If I want to try being with Carmen again, it’s time I act like it.
The next opportunity she allows, I won’t restrain my emotions. Giving myself permission to set them free is the onlyway to determine if my developing feelings are real. I need to let go, and when I do, I can only hope she’ll catch me.
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