Page 84 of Mistletoe Misses
“I got it.”
“That’s great. What is it?”
“The part.”
“Part of what? A puzzle? An apple? A car?” I tickle her belly, making her giggle, but she’s too consumed with her announcement to play. Setting her on her feet, I kneel ready to listen.
“No, silly. A part in a TV show in California.”
“What?” I crumble to the floor, the day Carmen left swirling through my head like drunken wasps. The memory stinging as sharply as it had back then. “You’re going to California? For how long?”
“Not sure. My agent says I could be in movies next.”
I stumble through my devastation, picking up the words she wants to hear along the way. “I’m so happy for you. You’ll be amazing.”
“I need to tell Nana.” She pecks my nose and takes off.
I can’t believe this is happening … again. I can’t believe Carmen and Nana didn’t tell me this could happen… again. Everyone acted as if I had nothing to worry about. That my inability to let go of the past was the problem. The way I see it, I have every right to be cautious and guard my permeable teddy bear heart with a fucking titanium cage.
My phone chimes, and I nearly rip my jeans pocket pulling it out with a force to match my fury.
Dottie:I’ll be home in an hour. I can’t wait to see my sweet baby. I’ve missed her so. Can you bring her to me?
When the universe has you under its heel, it just keeps on kicking. My trembling fingers type the opposite of what I want to say.
Me:Sure. Meet you there.
I need air. I need to get out of here.
“Maddox,” Nana calls from downstairs. “Can you deliver my pies to the fire hall?”
Jumping up, I gather Trixie and her stuff and race downstairs, grabbing the box of pies sitting the counter on my way out. I don’t wait for instructions and take a chance on having to answer questions about yet another drastic mood swing. I can’t hear more about Sadie’s news. I just want to run away.
Arriving at the fire station, the first person I see is my father, standing outside a closed garage bay with his arms crossed, like he’s been impatiently waiting for me to show up after curfew. “What the hell?”
I park the truck and let it run—half to keep Trixie warm, half for a quick escape.
“How’s it going, son?” he asks as I climb out.
“I’ve got Nana’s pies.”
“You can put them in the BINGO Hall, but that doesn’t answer my question.”
“Dad, I love you, but I’m not in the mood for another lecture. I’ve already gotten one from Mom and Nana today, and I have somewhere to be.” Stalking past him, I head inside and hand off the pies to the baking contest volunteers.
“Hi, Maddox. It’s good to have you home,” someone I either don’t know or don’t remember says on my way out.
Home. I was beginning to think I’d found that elusive place until it all was yanked from my grasp in the same way with the same dream. I can’t pretend my world isn’t falling apart again. The parking lot blurs, but I trudge on until two strong arms catch me mid-stride. My dad is almost my size, and at my pace, contact with him feels like slamming against a brick wall.
“Son, breathe.”
“Dad, I just want to—”
“You’re not running today, my boy. Sorry.”
Shaking my head, I find my balance, but his hand stays on my back for support. “I’m fine.”
“You sound like you say that a lot.”
