Page 111 of How You See Me
My heart does a full somersault when he kisses my forehead—tender, lingering, everything.
This is the man I want. The life I’ll fight for, wait for, and believe in forever.
Whatever comes next for us, I’m all in.
???
After being shuttled back to the launch site, we find a patch of shade beneath a broad tree, and we sit facing each other to share the cake Hayes had made for me.
“I want to tell you about Ava,” he says suddenly, setting down his plastic fork and leaning back against the trunk.
My heart shifts and aches for him. Nearly every time he mentions his sister, something pales inside him. I give him every bit of my attention. Whatever he’s about to say, it matters.
“I have four sisters I adore,” he starts, a tender smile brushing over his face. “But Ava and I have always had a special bond.” He pauses for a bit, then laughs under his breath. “There’s a connection between you and Ava that I hadn’t realized until now. You love rainbow sprinkles, right?”
I nod, confused but matching his enthusiasm.
“That’s how I’d describe you—fun, colorful, sweet.” His gaze dips shyly.
His compliment and the adorable nerves that followed warm my core, and I let him know with a quick kiss. “I think you’re the sweetest too. But I’m sensing there’s more to this story.”
He smirks, that teasing spark giving me glittery flutters in my chest. “I’m working my way up to it.”
I roll my lips together to keep from interrupting again, but inside, I’m swooning. He’s opening up, sharing a piece of him and that tenderness I adore. He’s solid, always—but this kind of strength? This vulnerability? It’s sacred, and I know what it costs him.
“My nickname for Ava is Cupcake,” he continues, amusement waning as he picks at the brittle grass between us. “When she asked me to take this trip, she called me Sprinkles. She said cupcakes are better with sprinkles . . . thatImade her feel better.”
Emotion wells in my chest. When he comes back to me, he’s drowning in so many emotions I recognize—grief, fear, and the same fierce love I have for Jordan.
He takes my hand, moved by something he has yet to say. “You’re my sprinkles.”
“Oh, Hayes.”
“She’s a gentle warrior, like you,” he continues, voice quiet and thick. “And she fights a battle every day.”
A tear escapes and glides down his cheek. Just one, and it’s heartbreakingly beautiful. Climbing into his lap, I wrap myself around him the way I did during his flashback. His arms come around me fast. Like he needs me to hold him together. And I will.
I lean back, cupping his face in my hands. “I can tell how much you love her.”
“I’d do anything for that girl. Even drive across the damn country.”
“Why did she ask you to go?”
He exhales, using his shirt to wipe his wet cheek. “She has a rare form of leukemia.”
Panic catches in my throat, and for one long, painful moment, everything goes silent. I reach for him, needing to give him something to hold on to. Needing the same just as much.
“Oh, Hayes.” My voice breaks. “That poor child.” Then, it clicks. All of it. His mood swings, the urgency, the rocks. “She . . . doesn’t think she’ll beat it, does she?”
“She wants to. She tries. But with every step forward, something knocks her back.” Another tear drops, and I wipe it away with my thumb. “And I’m not there.”
“You feel guilty for being away and having fun.”
His forehead drops to my shoulder. “Mom keeps telling me this is what Ava wants. That my happiness is her only wish.”
“She loves you. Your happiness is hers, just like her pain is yours.”
He nods slowly, his hands gripping my hips. “We were supposed to take this trip together. The things you and I have done—the rollercoaster, concert, waterfall, fossil dig, balloon ride—they’re from a list she gave me. There are a few more left.”
