Page 121 of How You See Me
It’s early. I get that, but Hayes has been a dream. No, better than a dream because I could never have fathomed this paradise with him on my own.
I don’t want to spiral, but doubt creeps in like a shadow under a door. The thought of losing Hayes at the end of this trip or ever makes my stomach roll.
I force the thought away.Live in the moment, Josie.
“I need cake,” I blurt.
“Behind your seat.”
“What? It wasn’t there this morning.”
He shrugs. “Had a feeling you’d want it.”
Grabbing the box, I find a fork waiting inside and melt. His thoughtfulness has no bounds. I scoop up a bite and hold it out for him.
“How in the world were you single?”
“Guess I was waiting on you.”
Good gravy and all the fixins.
“There you go again, being all sweet and romantic, but seriously. Why didn’t you date before?”
His shoulders rise, hold, then fall back into place. “Dating someone in the military isn’t easy. You leave. You miss things. You get called away at the worst times, and the people you care about wait for news, good or bad, every day. I never found anyone worth putting through that.”
My heart clenches. “Am I worth it?”
“Josie . . .”
“I need to know, Hayes.” I set the fork down. “You said you want this to continue. But are you sure? You won’t change your mind when it gets hard?”
His hands tighten around the wheel. “Where is this coming from?”
“Will you answer the question, please?”
He takes a moment, fueling my insecurities. “I can’t predict the future, Josie. How do you knowyou’llwant me in a month?”
“Because I love you.”
His hands jerk, and the van veers off the road. “Shit.”
Gravel sprays under the erratic wheels, and he slams on the brakes, parking in a cloud of dust. After switching off the engine, he sits motionless, his focus on the endless landscape out the windshield.
Every second of silence stretches my panic thinner, tighter. I shouldn’t have said it. Those three words are too heavy, and we’re too fragile. It’s too soon.
Say something. Anything.
I already know what’s coming. He’ll let me down easy and put space between us. That’s what people do. Theymean well—but they always leave.
This is where he hurts me, unintentionally, like Jordan—
“I love you, too.”
My heart drops into my stomach. “What?”
“I said . . .” His gaze finds mine, his voice steady with a blazing fire. “I love you, too.”
I can’t speak. Can’t breathe. Every ounce of bravery I’d scraped together to guard my heart from breaking crumbles to dust. “Hayes.”
