Page 123 of How You See Me
Her easy, unguarded smile. That mess of hair spilling across the pillow. Her smooth, tanned skin, still warm from the desert sun. And in her eyes—dear God, her eyes—there’s a love so clear and deep it doesn’t just pull me in, it digs roots into me. Holds me in place where I know I’m safe.
This woman loves me.
Me.
And for the first time in my life, I’m not avoiding having those feelings of my own. I’m sprinting toward them.
Nothing could top this moment. Except one thing.
A healthy Ava, ringing the cancer-free bell and walking out of the hospital for good.
Until that day comes, I’ll live for this one. Because this woman I’ve fallen for loves me back, and there’snothing—not war, not distance, not fear—I wouldn’t face to keep that love alive.
???
The view from the trail cuts straight through me.
Standing at the edge of Red Rock State Park, I take in a deliberate breath, letting the clean air and the uniquedesert landscape re-energize me. The late afternoon sun stretches long shadows across the earth, setting the towering rock formations aglow with shades of dark orange and crimson. It’s rugged, untamed, and doesn’t pretend to be anything but what it is.
The cliffs rise like ancient statues, their jagged edges standing tall against the infinite blue sky. Below, the land rolls out in layers of sandstone, shrubs, and weathered juniper trees. It’s the kind of place that makes me feel small in the best way—like the world is bigger than the problems and unknowns I wrestle with.
Beside me, Josie's quiet, telling me she feels it too. Thepeace. The weight of something greater than the both of us.
“This place is unreal,” she murmurs, taking my hand.
“Yeah. I wish Ava were here.”
“Why can’t she be?” She adjusts the camera strap and faces me.
“What?”
“Let’s video call her and take her with us.” She holds up her phone like it was an obvious answer. “This stop would have been her favorite, right?”
“Oh, yeah.” Tilting closer, my lips hover over hers. “The way you think of her makes me love you even more.”
She shivers from my touch. Normally, I’d take my time and give her something to think about for later, but I’m excited to make Ava’s day. I press Mom’s number on my phone, and after a brief greeting, she passes it to Ava on the couch.
“Ready for an adventure?” I ask in greeting.
She looks even more out of it than yesterday, but the little jolt of energy the question gives her makes this idea even better. “Always.”
We hike the first mile slowly, letting Ava experience it with us. Josie shows her the red cliffs and snaps a few shots she says Ava will love. I can already picture her painting the rocks in her little spot by the windows.
Ava falls asleep during the third mile, and I stay positive and stop dread from creeping in. Her body’s just tired from repairing itself non-stop.
We get a call back from Mom during the fifth and final mile when she wakes up.
“Did you get some good pics,” she asks Josie through a yawn.
“I did. Even got some of your brother. He’s such a good sport and an even better model.”
I can’t stop the eyeroll, but it’s not like I hate it. Watching Josie in her element, either behind the easel or camera, is one of my favorite past times.
“Maybe that can be his new job when he’s not a Marine anymore,” Ava says.
“I agree. The camera loves him.”
“Do you love him?”
