Page 159 of How You See Me
“You’re the glue, son. Not Ava. You were the one holding them together when they were falling apart. You carried the burden, took care of them, pointed them forward. You’re a far better man than I could ever be, and I’m proud of you.”
The words sucker punch me in the gut, causing a dozen or so contrasting retorts to tumble into my thoughts. I say nothing. Not because he’s confusing the hell out of me but because Mom is running toward us.
I step around him and jog to meet her halfway. “What’s wrong?”
“That’s what I came to ask you,” she says, breathless. “I saw you two arguing from Ava’s room.”
I squint up at the wall of windows glaring down at us, wondering which one is hers, and my shoulders slump with a new longing. “Ava’s okay?”
Maybe one day, that question won’t be the first to populate whenever I talk with my mother.
“Yes. She hasn’t had this much energy in days.”
“So, you came down here to stop me from lashing out? At least I didn’t do it in front of Ava like you expected.”
“Hayes, I didn’t expect it.” She places a steady hand on my cheek. “You’re always in control.”
“Doesn’t feel like it right now.”
I twist to find where my father snuck off to. He’s sitting on a nearby bench now, his elbows on his knees and head down, the same way Mom had been when I arrived. I don’t get the same knee-buckling sadness when he does it but the absence of it hurts just as much.
“Come on.” Mom grabs my arm and tugs me toward my father. “We need to talk.”
I want to tug back but know better than to challenge her. When her mind is set on something, she’s a racehorse galloping downhill and there’s no stopping her. She points at the empty bench beside him, and I do as she directs, but not without a disapproving grunt. I can’t help it. Controlling my emotions takes more energy and patience than I have in reserve right now.
She lowers to sit between Dad and me and wastes no time. “I don’t expect you to understand.”
“You’re forgiving him? Just like that?” It’s written all over her face.
“We’re working through some things. But yes. Life is too damn short.”
Asudden burst of anger pushes me off the worn wooden slats like they’re scorching hot.
“Let me finish,” she demands, yanking me back down by the elbow. “You don’t have to be okay with it. But you’re going to listen.”
My silence is all the compliance I give.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I needed to handle it my way.”
“And you knew I’d have something to say about it.”
“Yes.”
“Does everyone else know?”
“Just Raidyn.”
“Why?” I lean forward to ask him. “Why now?”
“It’s not sudden, Hayes. I’ve been trying to earn your mother’s forgiveness since I left. That needed to come first.”
“He’s moving back to town to help with Ava,” Mom blurts, ripping off the fresh bandages I’ve been frantically trying to place on all my wounded heart.
“I want to be a part of my kids’ lives and hopefully, earn a second chance with all of you.”
Mom takes his hand like no time had passed. Like he hadn’t abandoned us and broke her heart.
It’s the last straw. I launch off the bench, unsure of what I need to do or say, but I know I can’t stay here a minute longer
