Page 160 of How You See Me
I’m acting like a dejected child, not the thirty-three-year-old man the Marines and war molded me to be. This shock and awe is far worse than war. For that, I can switch off my emotions and follow my training.
“I need a minute.”
Stomping off, the only thing I can think to do is call Josie. I check my watch. It’s around 6:30 p.m. there.
The phone rings three times before loud music sounds through the speaker. I recoil, moving the phone away from my ear.
“Hayes? I’m sorry.” Josie’s voice muffles with the noise. “Hold on.”
The music is replaced by honking cars and excited voices on her end, a little more manageable.
“Hi. I’m so glad you called,” she says, rescuing me from myself. “I’ve been worried about you. How’s it going?”
My hand drags across the back of my neck when a new twinge pulses there. “There are no words.”
“Try, my love.”
More emotions press against my ribs, clawing for release. I’m so sick of feeling this way, but the storm Raidyn warned me about is coming and it has my father’s name written all over it.
“Hayes?”
“Ava perked up when she saw me,” I grind out. “Mom said she has a new energy now.”
“That’s great. See? She just needed her brother.” She pauses when the music blares again. “Sorry. There’s nowhere to escape the chaos in this place. Why do you sound upset?”
“It’s my parents. I think they’re getting back together.”
“Oh, Hayes. That’s more good news, right? Your family can heal and take care of Ava as a unit.”
Of course, she sees the silver lining. The rainbow in the clouds.
“I miss you.” And once again, I’m in awe of this woman.
“I miss you, too . . . so much.”
“I should get back to Ava before she falls asleep. I just needed to hear your voice.”
“I’m here, always. I love you and believe in you. Whatever you can handle right now is all you can do. But Hayes?”
“Yeah?”
She pauses with another sniffle. “I’d give anything for a second chance with my parents. Please think long and hard before you throw yours away.”
“For you, I will.”
“No. Do it foryou. I know you can. You can do anything.”
Chapter 34
Hayes
That night, I lay on the small couch in Ava’s hospital room while Mom and the girls stayed at the apartment. I wish I could say I slept, but there were too many things working against me.
Not only is the couch a noisy fabric masquerading as some sort of vinyl that sucks the life out of me through every sweaty pore, but it’s about three feet too short. The noise of a working hospital and the revolving door of nurses coming in to check on Ava would have been enough to keep me up. But there’s the problem of my roaming thoughts and persistent questions that won’t leave me alone.
And then there’s Josie.
I kept thinking about how she sounded on the phone, the way her tone melted when I mentioned Ava. I imagined her in some glowing Vegas lounge, lit up like thecity itself, and hating how far away she felt. How much I wanted to be near her, despite knowing I needed to be here more.
