Page 65 of How You See Me
Me:Everything OK there?
Mom:I hope so. She’s off today. Doctors said she’ll have good days and bad, but this feels different. Don’t know why.
Me:Trust your gut. It’s never wrong. Take her in.
Mom:I will. Hoping some rest will help.
Me:Keep me posted.
Mom:Always. Great photo. Everything going well with you?
Me:Yeah. I feel guilty having fun while she’s struggling.
Mom:That’s the whole point. You’re uncovering your spark, dear. It’s what she wants.
Me:What do youmean?
Mom:What she couldn’t put into words is that she thinks you sacrifice too much. You live alone. You give your time and body to others like it’s not yours. You don’t have anyone besides us, and that’s not fair. She wants you and the girls to be happy.
Me:What am I supposed to do? I have a job that doesn’t allow me to live like everyone else.
Mom:Just let people in, honey. You never know what will come of it. People need people. It’s life, and you’re only living half of one.
Me:Damn, Mom.
Mom:When things get difficult, that’s when you should evaluate your life. Make sure you do that on this trip. AND HAVE FUN.
Me:I am. It’s impossible not to with Josie around.
Mom:Good. I like her already. Do you?
Me:Not answering that. She’s Jordan’s sister.
Mom:And?
Me:Whether I like her or not is irrelevant.
Mom:But do you? All roadblocks aside.
Me:Yeah.
What the hell? I can’t believe I just admitted that, but ironically, I feel lighter for putting it out there. Whether I can act on my desires for her or not, at least the guilt feels less like a brick in mychest.
Mom:I’m happy for you.
Me:Don’t be. The roadblocks don’t disappear just because I want them to.
Mom:Maybe, but they can be shifted long enough to figure out if trying to eliminate them is worth the effort.
Mom:Test it. Talk to her. If she feels the same and you both want to explore your connection, then you address the roadblocks together.
Me:Testing is still betrayal. I’m not built to do what I know is wrong and ask for forgivenesslater.
Mom:Following your heart is never wrong. If Jordan’s a true friend, he should know you’re a better man for his sister than 99.99% of the male population.
Me:Maybe.
Mom:She would be lucky to have you. And I suspect she already knows it.
