Page 72 of How You See Me
He lets out his normal exasperated response when I’m being impossible, but he doesn’t shut me out. “Like what?”
My eyes dart over the spill pond below the falls. No one else has joined us since we arrived. A revelation too tantalizing to ignore. “Let’s go for a swim.”
“I’m sure there’s a rule against that.”
“Exactly.” I’m already yanking off my sneakers.
“Josie—” His voice grows tight as I strip off my shirt. “For the love of God—”
He tries not to look at me—always the gentleman—but it isn’t necessary. We’re not skinny dipping, and I wore a sports bra today. It covers more skin than my swimsuit. Can’t say the same for my panties though. That lacy number will be useless in the water.
“I didn’t know you were a religious man, Hayes.”
“Please put that back on.”
“Nope. Here’s your chance to live freely.” I drop my shorts before he can talk me out of it and take off to find a jumping spot near the deepest area of the pool. I don’t check if he’s following until I emerge from the cool water.
And there he is, standing on the rock where I jumped, barefoot in nothing but black boxer-briefs. This rare moment of him letting go deserves encouragement and validation, but I can’t find the words. Every sculpted muscle flexes as he bends to check the water's depth. I wish I had my camera to forever capture Hayes and the natural work of art he is. Forget the waterfall. It’s nothing compared to this view.
“Can you touch?” he asks.
I’d love to. I’d love to trace the hard lines of all those muscles, run my fingers through his hair, and feel his smooth skin. It’s only fair since I was out of it during my sponge bath.
“Barely. Be careful.”
He jumps in, cannonball style, and disappears under the white bubbles on the surface.
For a while, we swim and float, enjoying the refreshing water and freedom letting go offers. I’d like nothing more than zero interruptions for the next several hours. Sunset, waterfall, birds serenading us, and the most gorgeous man. It’s beyond romantic.
So many gooey and swoony emotions compete to be released, and I struggle to hold them back. I want to know more about him. Get under that irresistible skin and unlock the real Hayes.
“I’m proud of you,” I manage, swimming a little closer and paddling to keep my chin above the rolling waves. “Have you always been a rule-follower? Even when you were little?”
A rare, uncontained laugh burst out of him. “Shit, no. I got into all kinds of trouble.”
“Did the military smack it out of you?”
He smiles. Another real one. Maybe by the end of this trip, seeing him happy won’t surprise me as much. Wouldn’t that be marvelous?
“Yes, and my father leaving.”
“When was that? If you don’t mind me asking.”
He leans his head back to rewet his hair and kicks farther away from me, but he’s not as sly as he thinks. I saw the anger and hurt flash across his face before he clipped the gut reaction.
“Four years ago,” he says, surprising me. I fully expected him to retreat. “Shortly after my baby sister started kindergarten.”
“That must have been hard on your mom.”
“You have no idea.”
“I’d like to.” I close the distance and hover a few feet away. Pain lingers deep in his eyes, and it’s impossible not to feel the ache along with him. “If you ever want to talk about it, I hope you know I’m happy to listen. I’d never judge.”
“I know.” His gaze falls to the water, the stream beyond, the trees. Anything but me.
The urge to hold him eats me alive. I want him to understand that he doesn’t have to face his demons alone. I know what it’s like to lose a parent. While his aren't gone forever, grief over his father walking away from their family still hits like a moving train. The aftermath and never-ending recovery are just as painful as the initial blow.
“How about another topic?” I suggest for us both.
