Page 108 of Pictures in Blue
I hear Fran and Cordie a few feet away talking to Hudson. When I turn back, they are on either side of Hudson beaming up at him. “We told you, boy,” Fran says with a grin on her face.
“You owe us,” Cordie says, nudging him with her hip.
“Careful, you don’t want to break that.”
“Be careful,” says Fran. “We may be old, but we can take you.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt it,” he responds and hugs them closer. I can’t quite hear what he whispers to them but I do catch his lips mouthing, “Thank you,” before he plants a kiss to the tops of their heads. I catch his eyes and we smile at each other from a few feet away, a moment for us, a sense of complete calm, knowing we will have a lifetime filled with moments just like this.
HUDSON
After hugs and a small celebration, everyone parted ways for Avery and I to celebrate on our own. The porch is illuminated by the soft lights above us and the full moon in the sky, lanterns we haven’t picked up yet still stand in my yard.
Our yard,I correct myself.
Avery is bundled up in a thick blanket twisting her engagement ring on her finger, legs spread across my lap. I turn my gaze to the far-off mountains focusing on the stars and think of Sarah. There’s one more lantern we didn’t light sitting on the railing where I took the photo for Avery before. I insisted on having an extra one for Sarah as a way of finally letting go of my past.
I have come to realize that grief isn’t linear. It comes in waves and rises like the tides. It stays and covers the shoreline until it’s time to recede, moving to a calmer, quieter place. Leaving a path of foam and broken shells behind. But even the broken shells are worth seeing. The broken parts are worth living through because everyone is broken in their own way. It’s the way we put ourselves back together again that makes life worth living. The people around us make it worth it.Shemakes it worth it. She stormed into my life at a time I thought my broken parts would never be mended, my grief over Sarah overbearing. Suffocating in the darkness.
She catches me staring at Sarah’s lantern and nudges my arm. “Are you ready?”
I nod and stand, offering my hand to her and pull her up to me, chest to chest. I wrap the blanket around her shoulders and grab the lantern, leaning it toward her.
She gently unscrews the cap at the bottom and lights the long match, placing it inside until the wick catches. She rests her head on my arm as we watch the flame grow, joining the others among the wildflowers. I bend to place a kiss on the side of Avery’s head and close my eyes, breathing her in, still unbelieving that she is mine.
She is the bright light that made me want to breathe again. Want to live again. She has soothed my soul in ways I never could have imagined and I am at peace. Finally, at peace with my bottled sunshine.
I breathe in the mountain air and for the first time in a long time, it doesn’t hurt.
THE END.
