Page 36 of Pictures in Blue
Sunshine
Five?! You’re insane.
No, just a sucker for them.
Sunshine
That’s a lot of fur.
They keep me warm at night though.
Sunshine
Oh, so they’re just your cuddle buddies.
I’ve got no one else.
I don’t know why I say it. But I want to make sure,needto make sure she knows I don’t have anyone in my life like that. I haven’t wanted that in a long time and since I saw her at Fran’s, all I can think about is her curled up against my side. Her being there next to me when I wake up from the nightmare. Her consoling me until I fall asleep again in her arms.
I haven’t had comfort like that in a long time. But, I haven’t allowed myself to have it either. No one knows about the nightmare. I don’t talk about it. I suffer in silence and let the neverending pressure in my chest pass until I drift off to sleep again, only to experience the same nightmare a few nights later. The dogs nudge me until I wake up, soaked in my sheets. Once I’m awake, they snuggle closer and I distract myself by stroking their fur until I am able to fall asleep again. On the occasions that doesn’t work though, I get up and go for a run. Usually that works, but lately, even then, the pressure doesn’t ease and I get back home with the same feeling, but physically exhausted. My brain still spinning with the nightmare, haunting me until I am nothing but a shell in the morning.
But the first look at her and her yellow, polka-dotted ribbon, and the pressure lifted. Just a smidge and when we were dancing, it felt…freeing. Freeing from all the pain I have built up on the inside in the last three years. The pain that I have kept locked inside of myself, buried so deep, I can’t find a way to get it out.
Sunshine
That’s a shame.
It is.
Sunshine
Tomorrow?
Tomorrow. Meet me in the morning at my place. Sky can tell you how to get here.
The dots don’t return and I imagine her going up to the bar to order another beer, striking up a conversation with the older couple next to her. My mom would love that.
As soon as I open the door, three of the dogs run to greet me. The other two are waiting by the back door to be let out. I head that way and they all fight to get out first before I have the door halfway open. I watch them run in the yard and my mind drifts back to Avery and the anticipation of spending more time with her tomorrow.
I slept like shit and if it wasn’t for Avery walking up my driveway right now, I’d still be in bed, completely burrowed in my covers for the rest of the day. Throwing back the rest of the lukewarm coffee left in my mug, I lift my hand in a small wave that she returns. She’s dressed in black leggings and a white t-shirt with a faded image of a coffee cup on it, steam rising from the top.
“Did you find your way okay?” I ask, breaking the silence first.
She comes to a stop a few feet in front of me and my breath hitches at her scent, lilac and honey. A combination I want to inhale for the rest of my life. The scent reminds me of the field of wildflowers out back.
“Yeah, Sky gave me directions. But considering you’re the only huge ass cabin out here, it wasn’t hard to find,” she smiles and my heart beats a little faster.
I wave my hand in the air gesturing for her to follow me. “Well, c’mon, let’s go ridin’.” Walking toward the barn, I hear her fall into step next to me and I find that I am nervous. I feel like I’m in high school again about to go on a first date. What the hell is happening?
Once we get to the stables, Mick and Cletus are stomping their hooves ready to go. Avery goes toward Mick and strokes his broad neck, her other hand resting under his chin.
“Hey, big guy,” she whispers to him and Mick is already completely gone for her.
“I planned to have you ride Cletus actually,” I say, putting my hand on his nose.
“You think I can’t handle a stallion?” She says and my heart crashes in my chest at her sass. Is she flirting? I think she is, but I can’t tell.
“I’m sure you can, but as a first time rider, I figured I’d give you the easier one,” I respond. “But, if you want to take on Mick, he’s all yours. Just don’t complain when you fall off,” I smirk at her.
