Page 87 of Pictures in Blue
“You’re too good, Fran. But you stick around anyway, don’t you?”
“Yeah and you’re lucky I do. You’d be lost without me.”
“We all would, Fran. We would all be lost without you.”
I give her a smile and collect the bars from the counter. I place a lid on the pan before picking them up and plant a kiss on the top of Fran’s head before I leave. I take the coffee from the counter that she got ready for me and head out the door.
“Good luck scooping those out of that pan!” Fran yells from her place behind the counter, elbows placed on top, head resting on her hands. I let out a guttural laugh as I leave, the bells tingling in my wake.
Once I get settled in the cab of the truck and the coffee and bars are safe in a cup holder and in the front seat, I think about my conversation with Axel. I’ve never played racquetball before, but I imagine the sound the ball makes when it hits the wall is the same sound I hear in my head now as Axel’s words bounce around inside.
Grand gesture.Like we are in some Hallmark Christmas movie, the guy trying to make amends with the woman he loves to win her back.
The woman he loves. The words seem so unreal to me no matter how true they are. I know I love Avery and I love having her around. I am better with her around.Shemakes me better.
I like the way my heart flutters at the sight of her untying her ribbons, her hair fanning out behind her, falling softly on her shoulders. The feeling of her presence in the room. When she’s there, it’s warm, comforting.
I wouldn’t change where I live, but it has never quite felt like home until she moved in.
But she didn’t move in.The voice in my head argues.
She was pushed in my direction because she had nowhere else to go. Would she choose to stay? Doubts start filling my mind, a dense fog over the hope I had moments before. I glance over at the bars I made and the coffee and focus on the smile they will bring to her face. I focus on the way her lips curve slightly when I enter the room and the light that brightens in her eyes when she has coffee in her hand. I clear the fog in my head and focus on her.
The thought of her leaving is one I push to the back of my mind to avoid the empty feeling it leaves in my gut.
CHAPTER THIRTY
AVERY
The bed is empty when I wake up, but there is a post-it note stuck to the window on Hudson’s side of the bed.
Running errands. Be back later.
H
The significance of the act of leaving a note hits me in the chest and constricts like a python squeezing its prey. Tighter and tighter until the heartbeat slows and eventually comes to a stop.
Leaving a note feels too much like something a couple would do and Hudson and I are definitely not that. Are we? Small moments and almost touches come back to me like a highlight reel.
I’m overthinking, but something about the image of him in the early morning hours, writing a note for me as I slept feels…intimate. Something a husband would do for a wife or vice-versa.
I am completely lost for you, Avery Reid. And I don’t plan on finding my way back.
Hudson’s words from this morning echo through my head and I remember him pulling me to his body, cradling me until I fell asleep in his arms.
You matter tome.
His words healed a piece of me I’ve been missing for a long time. It’s terrifying and I might not know how I feel, but right now, I feel like getting out of bed for the first time in a few days. One step at a time. I take a deep breath and stretch. Inhaling and exhaling, a sense of calm washing over me.
I take the note down and run my fingers over the indents in the paper. I imagine him sneaking out of bed and tip-toeing around the room trying to avoid the creaks in the floors. Slowly grabbing clothes and slipping them on before stopping to glance over at me dead asleep in his bed, hair tangled around my face. And then thinking I’d wonder where he was when I woke. Curious enough about his whereabouts, a wife wondering what time her husband would be home, to stop and write a note for me.
Placing the note next to the cold food Hudson brought up earlier, I maneuver around Buddy and Judy to climb out of the bed.
By the time I reach the kitchen all five dogs are at my heels ready for a treat (or two). I search through the cabinets until I locate the box of treats in the one next to the fridge. There’s another sticky note similar to the one Hudson left on the headboard in the same handwriting.
They only get one.
-H
