Page 44 of Artfully Wild
SKYLAR
“When you tend a rose, my lad, a thistle cannot grow.”
- The Secret Garden, Chapter 27
The bright orange highlighted passage stares back at me, a beacon of light in a dark, stormy sea I’ve felt swirling within me for years. Sarah knew how much I hated high school. I never fit in at school and even a small charming town like Blue Grove wasn’t safe from bullying. And that’s exactly what I got. Aside from Jacob and Sophie, the whole experience sucked. “Best four years of your life” is the most bullshit saying. Everything good in life comes after that.
There were many nights when Sarah and I stayed up talking about our experiences, hers usually better than mine. But I would confide in her about how I felt and the thoughts that tended to swirl through my mind from time to time. I brush my fingers over her handwriting on the folded note tucked into the pages that accompanied the highlighted text.
I know you haven’t always had it easy. And your way of getting out was traveling and painting. That is a part of you. I am just sorry you had to give that up to come home. You shouldn’t have done that for me. You need to live your life and worry less about everyone else. Between you and our brother, I’m not sure which of you is more worried about taking care of everyone else around you besides yourselves. You’re both idiots. And you both deserve more than you ask for.
Don’t be afraid to ask for more and remember to replace the discouraging thoughts with courageous ones. Tend to the ones that fill your soul and thistles will cease to exist.
“Are you okay?” Jacob’s voice comes from my side where he was sleeping when I checked before opening the book. I look over to meet his eyes as he reaches up and wipes the tears I didn’t notice were sliding down my cheeks.
I briefly lift up the book and shrug my shoulders. “I will be.” And for once, I think I might actually believe myself.
He kisses my shoulder and wraps his arm around my waist, and scooches closer to me.
My dreams and fantasies over the years could have never prepared me for what has happened in the last twenty-four hours. I slept with my best friend and it…wasn’t great at first, but we figured it out together and each time was better than the last. There isn’t any other way to describe the feeling in my chest at the sight of him next to me other than happy. I don’t remember the last time I have felt this full of joy. This content.
Jacob’s arm tightens around me as he shifts his body towardme. He throws his other hand on top of me and tangles his legs with mine. We stay like this for a few moments, staring into each other’s eyes, and I wonder if he regrets the imaginary barrier we broke through last night. His eyes crinkle at the corners as he smiles at me, lightly stroking my jaw with his thumb a few times before holding my chin between the pad of his thumb and the crook of his finger.
“How are you feeling, Skylar?” he asks softly. He’s the only one to always use my full name and I don’t think I will ever get used to him saying it in this context.
“I feel…content,” I say, nervous he might take it the wrong way, but he smiles wider, like I just told him all the pets in the world have homes. Tugging my chin, he closes the distance between us and kisses me slowly, moving his hand to the base of my head to hold me steady. My anchor in the storm. I move the hand I have resting on his hip to explore his body. I go lower until I reach the top of his thigh and he rocks into me teasing until I answer his hips and deepen the kiss.
When our movements become desperate, I push him on his back harder than I intended, but I am met with a smirk from his lips and a twitch from between his legs. A mix of emotions go through me at the sight of him beneath me as I straddle him with my naked body, his eyes taking me in without shame. I am the most vulnerable I have ever been, the most exposed, yet I also feel the most confident I have felt in a long time.
I reach down, and mirror his move from before, tilting his chin up so his eyes meet mine. “Did you like that, Mr. Sinclair?” His eyes widen in surprise and his chest stills, holding the last intake of breath. “Do you like it when I take control?” I have no idea where my words are coming from, but this is Jacob. If we can get through the awkwardness of last night and the usual weirdness the morning after, we can be vulnerable enough to figure out our likes and dislikes in the bedroom. Since we, apparently, both waited years for it.
He reaches his hand up, brushing it through my hair, “I think I do,” he admits, softly, like he’s afraid, but also ready to figure out if it’s true. I take hold of his wrist near my head and pin it above him.
His breath hitches and I can feel him harden more between my legs, which has become wetter within the last few seconds. I think I might like being in control. His hips start to move beneath me and he plants a hand on my hip. Instead of moving with him though, I lift up on my knees, preventing him from getting the friction he wants. Grabbing his free wrist, I pin it with the other above his head and even though my hands are too small compared to his and there’s no way I could actually hold both of them in only one of mine, I have a feeling he’d keep them there if I told him to.
Leaning down again, careful not to allow my torso touch his, I kiss his cheek lightly and listen to his breathing, amazed that I’m the one drawing this reaction from him. I’m the one making him writhe beneath me. I’m the one making his heart beat rapidly in his chest and I’m the one who made his breathing shallow and hitched.
I kiss his other cheek, my nipples grazing his chest and I’m not sure who moans first. Once I reach his mouth, he tries to break his hands free to wrap around me, but I push back, breaking our kiss. Both of us are breathless, our chests heaving in deep rhythms. “Did I say you could move your hands?” I ask in a voice I’ve never heard come from me before.
“No,” he whines.
“Then put them back where they belong.” My voice is so strong and commanding that he immediately rests his hands back on the pillow beneath him, encompassing a wrist with his other fingers. Watching him listen to me has my confidence growing. The simple fact that he feels comfortable enough, ready enough to try this, to explore something like this…with me, makes me wonder if this is something else we should have been doing the whole time.
“Skylar Waters, you are going to ruin me. And I think I’m going to like it.”
Low in my body, there’s something doing acrobatics, flooding me with more heat than before.I think I’m going to like it, too,are the words I don’t say. Instead, I reach across him to the box we dug into last night and waste no time ripping open a package.
“Don’t move,” I tell him and he answers with an eager smile, hands still where I left them. Holding the open package in my hand, I reposition myself so I am kneeling in between his legs. Planting one more light kiss on his lips, I make my way down his throat, trailing kisses across his chest, softly biting and sucking on each peak before moving on. The way his hips buck into my stomach let me know that’s something he enjoys. I focus on each peck again and he reacts with more intensity.
“Do you like this?”
He answers with a deep groan and more writhing, trying to find a sweet spot to grind against me. Something I am not ready to let him do. I stop what I’m doing and straighten so only my thighs touch his. “When I ask a question, I expect an answer.”
I move back down his body and repeat my motions from before, coaxing the same reactions out of him. “Do you like this?” I ask again.
“Yes, little sparrow,” he gets out, looking down at me, desperation and heat behind his eyes. “Please, move. I need you.”
“Mmmm, since you asked so nicely.” I quicken my kisses down his torso, eager as he is, until I reach the hard length that was pressing against me. I press my mouth to the skin around him, slowly teasing. He shifts in response and I take the opportunity to fit him into my mouth, wrapping a hand around his base. Moaning louder, he pushes his hands into the wall behind him, searching for something to grab onto. When they findnothing, he threads his fingers through his own hair and tugs as he thrusts into my mouth. His eyes meet mine and I come up without breaking eye contact, roll the condom on, and position my body above him, legs on either side. Slowly, I lower myself onto him and we both release a sigh of relief at our bodies finally fulfilling their cravings. Placing my hands on his chest, I rock my hips faster until we are in sync.
