Page 72 of Artfully Wild
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
SKYLAR
Ihave never been so terrified in my life.
Well, that’s a lie.
I was terrified when Sarah was diagnosed with breast cancer. And I was terrified when I heard Hudson trying to wake her when she was gone.
But this is different. This is the man I hadjuststarted picturing a future with. And suddenly, it feels like that is all going to be ripped away before I even had the chance to admit it’s what I wanted.
I don’t let myself hesitate about it before I pull out my phone and dial the first number I think of.
“Why are you calling me so late?” he answers with his usual air of grumpiness.
“I’m at the hospital.”
“What?” His tone immediately shifts and I can hear him shuffling around, gathering things and tossing others to the side.
“Hudson, I’m fine. Everything is fine. Jacob had a seizure. He’s okay, I think. He’s in with the doctors now, so I’m waiting on an update. I just…”
“Fuck. Sky, you could have started with that.” I imagine him running his hands through his hair and over his face like he usually does when he’s stressed or scared. Like he did over and over when he and I were here with Sarah during chemo appointments.
“I’m sorry,” I choke out. Fuck. The last thing I want to do is cry, but a tear falls quickly followed by two more and I don’t do anything to stop them.
“Skylar,” he says softly. “It’s going to be okay.”
“I called you, because you’re someone who understands how much it fucking sucks being here,” I get out in between sobs. “And I’m trying really hard not to freak out and run out the doors right now because I need to be here when he wakes up. But all I want to do is run.” I take a deep inhale, interrupted by sharp sobs.
“I know,” is all he says. “But running would be easy, Sky. And you don’t do the easy thing. You don’t take the easy way out. If anything you look for the hard way out and build a maze to get to it. Take a few wrong turns on purpose until you get to the end. And you’re not a runner either.”
“Fuck running,” I get out with a watery laugh.
“Hey, running is actually a great way to cope with the emotions you’re having right now,” I hear Avery’s voice.
“I’ll keep mine nice and bottled up until the bottle shatters, thanks,” I tell her.
“That didn’t take her long to bounce back,” she says.
“It never does.” Hudson pauses. “He’ll be okay, Sky.”
“He’ll be okay,” I repeat, because I won’t accept any other outcome. “Thank you.”
I hang up and walk around the waiting room, tapping my phone on my thigh, hoping the doctor will come out with some kind of update. Anything to calm my thoughts.
I can feel them starting to spiral the more I walk in circles. Creating my own personal whirlpool, sucking in every sense ofrational thought, leaving only the chaos of fear and anxiety behind.
All the implications of seizures and the possible conditions swirl through my head until I feel dizzy and it’s all I can do not to Google migraine induced seizures to try and find my own answers.
This ishisfault. Ty’s. Jacob was fine until he started spiraling about his dad. He wouldn’t have done that if his dad had been a dad to begin with. But he made Jacob feel like he wasn’t wanted. He made him feel like he was a burden and if anyone was a burden, it was Ty. For everything he had put his family through.
I know I’m being unreasonable.I know.Deep down Ty is a good guy. He’s out there doing everything he can for wildlife and fighting for a cause he believes in. Hell, a cause I can get behind. But heshouldhave also fought for his son. And honestly, I’m past reason.
The second Dr. Adams said Jacob may have suffered from a migraine-induced seizure, all I could see was red. I was furious. At his doctors for not figuring this out sooner. At myself for not seeing it when I should have. At Ty for just not fuckingbeinghere with his wife in the waiting room to be able to see his son.
I called her as soon as we got to the hospital. The paramedics came a few minutes after I got Jacob on his side and I had moved aside so they could take over. After what seemed like the longest fifteen minutes of my life, we made it to the emergency room. Once he was taken back, I had enough sense to call his mother, to tell her what happened. Another fifteen minutes went by, and she was storming through the doors, searching for her son.
“The migraines had always just been migraines,” she said after pulling out of the hug she wrapped me in.
