Page 20 of Into the Mountains
CHARLOTTE
“Charlotte, look what I found!” Ethan comes running outside not bothering with the steps as he leaps straight off the porch. His feet land with a thump in the grass.
I meet him halfway and look at the wrist he is holding out for me to inspect. A beautiful leather bracelet hugs it with a pendant sitting snuggly in the middle. My chest pangs with a sadness I wasn’t ready for when I see what’s engraved on it and I can feel the familiar burn of tears behind my eyes. It’s been a long time since I’ve let myself be open to that world again. Not since Mom died.
But this isn’t about me or her. This is about a little boy who also lost his mom, who is excited and who I need to be excited for. I push down my grief and lock it under the mountain in the cave I hoard all my pain and misery in, the dragon peacefully slumbering for now guarding it all.
“It’s not every day you see the halls of the dwarven kingdom on an eight year old boy’s wrist.”
His eyes light up and as much as I find his dad annoying, I find this kid endearing as hell.
“You knowThe Hobbit?”
“Are you kidding?” I bend further down to his level so we are eye to eye. “It used to be my whole lifestyle, kid.”
“Used to be?” He would be the one to ask difficult questions.
I just shrug. “Yeah.”
Thankfully, he doesn’t push any further, but his excitement shines through as he asks me questions about what I thought about Gandalf and him showing up at the beginning and what I thought about the dwarves and their song at dinner and so on.
Elias finally emerges from the house carrying a box and everyone turns toward him. His footsteps seem to echo louder down each stair as he makes his way down to us. I can’t help but notice his eyes are rimmed with red like he’s been crying. Coming to a stop on Ethan’s other side, he grabs his hand.
Everyone is quiet as they all turn and look at the house, the silence stretching and suddenly I feel like I shouldn’t be here. Even though I’ve lived here for a little over a year, I still feel like I’m basically a stranger to most of these people. This doesn’t feel like a moment I should be a part of. I start to turn to one of the trucks, I don’t really care which one, as long as I can get away from this moment and let this family grieve without a stranger in their midst. But before I can make a break for it a small hand tugs at mine. I look down and Ethan’s eyes are pleading.
“Don’t go,” he says quietly, holding on to my hand.
I risk a quick glance at Elias, a silent question. He nods and I take that as a sign that it’s okay to stay. Mostly because his son asked me to.
The silence lasts for a few minutes, interrupted by noses sniffling and choked sobs here and there, and even though I didn’t know Sarah and don’t know anything about her other than what Avery has told me, I can feel her here. With this family. And I can feel the loss they feel.
Now, I’m the one interrupting the silence with my own tears for a completely different person. I feel a small squeeze in my hand and I’m surprised by the amount of comfort it brings me.
Avery and Hudson are the first to pull away, Hudson kissing his fingers to his lips and then placing them on the railing of the porch before turning away for the last time. He doesn’t look back. Sky mimics her brother and walks back to her truck, arm in arm with her husband who’s drawing small circles on her arm.
George and Isabelle follow their children and stop in front of the porch. Between the pain and tears, they place their fingers on the banister together in the same place Hudson and Sky did.
George squeezes Elias’s shoulder as he passes and Isabelle takes his hand in hers, squeezing it briefly before letting go.
It’s just the three of us now standing in front of the house and again, I feel like I shouldn’t be where I am, but Ethan’s grip only got tighter as the others had said their goodbyes. It’s a vice I can’t escape if I wanted to.
“I’ll let you two say your goodbyes,” I say, trying to step away to give them a moment, but Ethan only pulls me closer to him.
“Please, can you stay Charlotte?”
“It’s okay, Ethan. I’ll just be in the car waiting, okay?”
Gently, I try again, but there’s not a chance this kid is letting go unless I force him to, which I’m definitely not going to do. I give Elias a look of desperation, which isn’t like me, but I have no idea what the hell to do here.
“It’s okay,” he says, softly. “Stay with us.”
“Alright.” So I stay and hold onto Ethan’s hand until he’s ready to let go. I don’t let go first. I wait for him to do it and he does when he and his dad walk up to the porch and touch their fingers to the banister. Ethan’s fingers go to his bracelet after he turns away and he runs the pad of his thumb over the pendant. Back and forth. Back and forth.
I’m waiting at the back of the truck as they walk, Elias placing his hand around Ethan’s shoulders. “You ready for a new adventure, kiddo?”
“Only on one condition,” he says, his voice the epitome of seriousness.
“Oh, and what’s that? You already got a kitten. She’s not getting a friend, so don’t even go there.” Elias chuckles. I do too, because I guarantee there’s going to be another cat friend for Sable in that house by the end of the year.
