Page 25 of Into the Mountains
“I think you propositioned first, Eli.” Our eyes lock and to my surprise I can feel my body react. The crush I harbored for so long throughout our high school years and the feelings that grew so strongly throughout our one summer together come raging back. The feelings that made me dream about his sandy hair and dark eyes, stupidly thinking about our future together that became nonexistent.
The crush I had on him in high school would result in teenage doodles in my notebooks. They would be covered by the end of classes with little E’s plus C’s. I remember begging the universefor him to notice me and when he finally did, it was because he couldn’t just be at the top of the jocks, he had to take over the other side of the school too. Elias wasn’t just athletic. He was smart too. Really smart. So smart, he challenged me for everything I was the head of. Debate team, chess club, student council, art club, it didn’t matter what it was. Whatever club I was in, he was suddenly there too and it quickly became a game in each one. Who could do it better. Who could win. We were never really friends, even though I secretly wished he wanted to be. I never knew why he did all those things until our first date. He said it was because he liked me and like the idiot I was, I believed him because of a stupid high school infatuation which turned into a brief summer romance.
That I am apparently not completely over.
Fuck.
He takes it one step further, literally, moving closer to me. Our eyes lock and I can feel my breath quicken. I’m not sure what he wants right now and there might be part of me that just wants to fall into old habits we spent a summer building. It would be so easy. But I can’t let myself have that. I built walls for a reason and they are not meant to be broken down so easily.
My eyes shift quickly along his features as he pauses for a second before taking a step back a look of hurt flashing across his face.
I don’t think I feel all that bad though. He did worse to me.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHARLOTTE
MAY - FIFTEEN YEARS AGO
THE FIRST DATE
“Istill can’t believe he actually saw my profile and wanted to go on a date with me.”
“Oh, c’mon, starfish. Why are you so shocked by this?” Mom is perched on the corner of my bed among the vetoed outfits from earlier. I practically emptied my closet until we decided to go with high waisted jeans and an olive green wide sleeved tank with a v-neck that dipped lower than I’ve ever worn before. It ends right at my sternum, which means I have to use this weird tape to make sure my boobs stay where eyes can't see. Mom promises it will hold and if it doesn’t, I’m fully blaming her.
She’s watching quietly as I do my makeup—try to do my makeup is a more accurate term. I missed that phase in high school where girls get obsessed with doing their full face ofmakeup. Not for lack of trying though. I did try it once and I used the completely wrong shade of foundation. Casper was my nickname for the next month and sometimes kids still brought it up a year later when they passed me in the hallway.
But things are different now. I’m still a teenager, but I’m almost a twenty-year-old college student. That’s a big difference. Maybe Elias will see that this time. He’ll see what he didn’t before.
Before, I was quiet and nervous. I panicked if he tried to talk to me in the hallways, which wasn’t often because all of his friends were around and I’m almost certain he was too embarrassed to even try. But no matter what, my heart would beat abnormally when I saw him walking in my direction and my skin would turn so red it would almost match my hair. My clothes match my personality too. Quiet and understated. I wore quiet colors to blend in. Being noticed wasn’t something I ever wanted to be. If I could fly under the radar and just live my life, I’d be a happy girl—woman.
I’m different now though. I’m brighter, more confident. I’m louder and I still don’t back down from a challenge. That was the only thing with Elias I never felt nervous about. Challenging him. I was good at that. Dating though? I have no idea if I’m good at that and high school Charlotte would be terrified right now trying to think of any excuse to get out of socializing. College Charlotte, however, is…giddy.
“I’m not shocked, I’m just surprised I guess.”
“But why?” she asks again. “He would be lucky to snatch you up.”
My laugh escapes before I can catch it. “Snatch me up?”
Mom just sits up a bit straighter. “Highkey, you’re a catch.”
I have to move the mascara brush away from my face so I don’t accidentally get it on my skin. Turning toward my mother,I can’t help but laugh with her. And laugh loudly, because I have no idea what she’s doing right now.
“Why are you laughing?” she asks even though she’s trying and failing to stifle her own giggles. “I’m just trying to say that I ship you and Elias together.”
“Do you have a google page open to slang terms or something right now? What is going on?”
She tries to shove her phone behind her back, but I notice her movements. “Oh my god, you do! Mom, you’re insane.”
“I’m just trying to keep up with all the young people. Live vicariously through you.”
“Why would you want to do that when you have me right here?” Dad says appearing in the doorway. Without hesitation, Mom stands to go to his side, wrapping her arms around his waist. He lets one of his arms fall around her shoulders in an embrace I’ve seen a million times. Next he’ll plant a kiss on the top of her head and whisper something in her ear that’ll make her blush.
Right on cue, he bends his head slightly and her cheeks redden as his words reach her ear. Now I’m wondering if Mom had ulterior motives for getting me out of the house tonight.
“Okay, as adorable as this is, I’d like to leave before you go any further.” I put the finishing touches on my lips with a light pink lipstick. “How do I look?” It feels weird presenting myself to my parents when I’m an adult, but it also feels like I’m still a kid playing dress up. Pretending to go on a date with a guy I really like, except this time it’s very real.
My hair is in a low ponytail and it swishes around as I get my nude heels strapped to my feet. Once they’re secure, I stand in front of my parents who are both looking at me like I’m the most precious gem and they must guard me with their lives. Which, I guess is technically their job as parents.
