Page 41 of Into the Mountains
It’s the last question I would have expected from him. I would have at least expected him to repeat the one I didn’t answer. The one I’m too afraid to answer.
“My mom.”
“I didn’t realize Anne was so into that kind of stuff.”
“She wasn’t for the longest time,” I say, gripping the edge of the bench with my hands, trying to not let myself feel the tension between us.
“She got into books later in life and that was one we bonded easily over. We’d listen to the audiobook and watch the movie all the time. My dad would act like he was so tired of it, but he secretly loved it. When she got sick, I’d sit by her bedside almost every day and read from the book. I sometimes thought the night nurses would get tired of the story too. But they always stopped what they were doing and would listen a bit or they’d bring their task to the living room where she was to hear the story.”
“Perks of that town, I guess,” he says.
“Yeah, you could say that.”
“I almost came to the visitation,” he admits. “After everything, I still wanted to be there for you, but I wasn’t sure you’d want me there and I didn’t want to make you angry on a day you were mourning. So, I stayed away.”
I lift my head back up to look at him. His eyes are focused on the chipped blue floor in front of him, but I can see enough of his face to see there is sadness there. Regrets and pain.
Things I think we both have enough of.
“I probably would have been angry with you for coming. So thank you for staying away. I appreciate the sentiment now though.”
“I just wish I could have done something.”
“There’s nothing you could have done. She got sick and died.” I realize the impact of my words and I wish I could take them back.
“Shit….sorry.”
His fingers sneak their way onto mine and he links our pinkies together. “It’s okay. There’s nothing either of us could have done.”
Our eyes meet and the tension from before surrounds us and for once when I look at him, I don’t see the college boy that broke my heart. I see a man trying to do the right thing. Trying to make amends.
“Elias, I—”
“There you are.” Avery’s voice sounds through the room, making us both jump. She narrows her eyes and looks between the two of us.
Elias clears his throat. “Charlotte needed a minute. I was just helping her.” Without another look, his pinky leaves mine and he walks out of the locker room.
“Sorry, did I interrupt something there?” Avery asks, pointing in the direction Elias went.
“No. Like he said, he was helping me.”
“It looked a lot more intense than that.”
I shrug, because I’m too tired to go into anything.
“Are you okay?” she asks.
“Just peachy. Juuuust peachy.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHARLOTTE
The walk back to our campsite is quiet. It may just be me, but I can feel the tension rolling off in waves. Elias is near the front of the group while I’m bringing up the back. I lingered behind when we started walking back to camp, figuring it was best for us to distance ourselves.
I’m not sure how to untangle the mess I feel about our moment in the locker room. It’s like trying to pull apart a pile of necklaces, the chains are interlocked so much that the more I try to untangle them, the more it seems they get jumbled together.
We get back to camp mid-afternoon and it’s hotter than I expected for this time of year. During the hike, I decided I needed some time to myself, so I dig into my pack and grab the book I brought. The one I haven’t opened since Mom died. The one Ethan begged me to read again with him and I promised him I would.
