Page 53 of Into the Mountains
His breaths are heavy now and I can tell he’s getting close by the amount of strain in his voice. “All clear.”
I pull my hand away from him and slide down his body, taking his boxers with me. On my knees for him now, I take my time letting my eyes devour him. His muscles, the slight hair on his chest, not too much where it’s completely covered, but not too little either where it’s patchy. There’s a dark happy trail leading all the way down to his hard cock that I want to trace. So I do. I trace his skin lightly like he did on my thighs with his fingers. His breathing is ragged, which makes my nipples harden.
I don’t touch him where he wants right away, instead teasing him around the base with my fingers. And then my tongue. I don’t think he expected that, because he stumbles back a bit and it takes him a moment to regain his balance and reposition himself. He looks down at me and traces the line of my jaw, grabbing a strand of hair.
“You are so fucking beautiful.”
“You’re only saying that because I’m on my knees for you.”
Immediately, he gets on his knees so we are face to face, inches away from one another. “For once, I’m going to drop the bullshit, okay?”
“Okay?” My heart starts racing and it’s not just because I’m horny again.
“You’re the most gorgeous person I’ve ever met. You’re not only beautiful, but you’re smart. Smarter than I’ll ever be no matter how much I’ve tried to be otherwise. I’ve always thought that, but I was an idiot who didn’t act on it. I…I’ve had real feelings for you for a long time and if I didn’t think it would sendyou running back to that boat, leaving me here stranded, I’d say words you deserve to hear. But you also deserve to hear them when you feel you’re ready.”
He’s right. I would probably run. It’s too much too soon, but my heart is a traitor and is begging him to say the words anyway. To say the words I’ve been wanting to hear for so long. The ones I’ve imagined him saying to me a thousand times over. The ones I feel too.
Reaching into the pocket inches from us, I grab the condom I stashed in there earlier and rip it open. Once it’s in place, I push him back on the blanket and straddle him. His eyes never leave mine as I position him where I’ve been craving him the most. Fingertips dig into my hips as I push down onto him, and our voices fill the cave.
There have been very few times that sex has ever felt good for me. The first time when I was with a man at the beginning of freshman year in college was uncomfortable and I never heard from him again. The next time with a woman was better, but I still never felt like I do now. This feels like something I usually see in the movies. Two people that have had feelings for each other for years, finally get together and it’s everything they could have wished for. This is that.
He’s everything I could have wished for and for once, I’m letting myself enjoy every single second of it.
“You know, you never did answer my question.” He is sitting with his legs crossed, boxers back on, but his chest is still exposed. I opted to steal his hoodie without bothering to cover my bottom half.
“What question is that?” I ask as I dip a piece of pita bread into the guacamole we unpacked from the cooler. After we finished twice, we ran out of energy for any more, so we decided to actually eat the food we brought.
“What’s the weirdest thing that’s ever happened on a boat?”
“Like, to me or just in general?”
He thinks for a second. “Just the weirdest fact you know.”
I roll my eyes at him. “You sound like those idiots in school who would treat me like some sort of game show.”
Shame crosses his face and his ears redden. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I know you didn’t. It just reminded me of it, that’s all.”
“It shouldn’t. And I should have known better. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
We let the crunch of the food we’re chewing fill the silence for a while, but it’s not uncomfortable. Back then I learned to become desensitized when kids would come up to me and ask me to spout off random facts. Before that I would actually believe they’d want to know and be excited my peers were including me in something. The image of their faces as they failed to stifle their laughs is one I won’t ever forget. And not just because I don’t have a choice. Soon after that, I’d try to ignore them, but that didn’t work all the time. They’d nudge me or scream as if I didn’t hear them from two feet away. And if I refused to give them an answer, to entertain them in some way, something worse would happen. Writing on my locker, more than normal run-ins in the hallway, an occasional foot would suddenly be in my path and so on.
“Tell me the weirdest thing about yourself instead,” he says.
“What?”
He scoots closer and puts his chin in both of his hands as he stares over at me like I am the most interesting thing in the world to him.
“What’s the weirdest thing about yourself?”
“Besides that I have no choice but to basically remember every little thing I see?” I ask.
“Yes, besides that.”
“I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”
