Page 55 of Into the Mountains
My brain short circuits at him repeating one of the names I told him earlier during my rambling. He actually listened to allof it. I didn’t really have a doubt, but to have that validated is…refreshing.
Before I have a chance to say anything else, he leans in to kiss me and I let him, feeling the warmth of him against my lips. His hands come to my waist to pull me closer to him. My legs fall to either side of his waist and the soft blanket cushions my knees. Fingers start to lift his sweatshirt at the hem before I slap his hand away. “Don’t even think about it. This sweatshirt is mine now.”
“Absolutely not, Charlie.” He grins like he’s joking, but I know deep down he’s being serious. I know how much this sweatshirt means to him, but that doesn’t mean I won’t make him work to get it back.
“You have to earn it back.”
“And how do I do that?”
I act like I’m contemplating my answer. “There are so many ways.” I stand suddenly, throwing him off balance and put a few feet of distance between us.
“And what ways do you want me to earn it back?”
“On your knees.”
“I was hoping you were going to say that.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CHARLOTTE
PRESENT DAY
After the bottle is empty and the s’mores are eaten, Fran and Cordie head back to their camp. The couples retreat to their tents and it’s only Elias and I left around the campfire.
“You wore that sweatshirt on purpose,” I quietly accuse.
“I did.”
I’m actually a little surprised he admits to it. “I can’t believe you still have it. I figured you would have gotten rid of it when you met Sarah,” I say honestly, because usually when people meet their person, past relationships get thrown away.
“Sarah and I both had our pasts. Both had our boxes and when we met and became friends, and then more than friends shortly after, I did actually throw it away. I donated it.”
I scrunch my brows in confusion. “Then how do you have it now?”
“The universe,” he answers like that explains anything.
A long sigh leaves him slowly as sparks crackle from the fire between us. “Last year on my birthday, Ethan wanted to get me a really good gift. He started asking me questions about my time playing soccer in high school and my favorite things about it. All that stuff. I thought he was asking because he wanted to start playing or something. Turns out, he and his meddling aunt over there,” he points to Sky’s tent, “started looking for an old sweatshirt from the years I played. Neither of them knew that it was one I used to wear all the time. And lo and behold, somehow they managed to find the exact one I donated for sale at an online thrift store.”
“How did you know it was yours?”
“There was the smallest tear in the left cuff right next to the seam. I’d fiddle with it all the time and tried to stop in fear I’d make it worse. And when I unwrapped it last year, it was the first thing I looked for.”
He pauses as if he’s remembered our time in the cave I took him to on our second date. My body heats as I recall the memories and my skin remembers the way his fingertips felt against it.
He clears his throat and stands, tugging at the hem of the sweatshirt to straighten it. “I’ll see you in the morning, Charlie.”
“Good night, Eli.”
I don’t bother moving from my chair. I’m letting the part of me that wants to watch him bend down and walk into his tent run away with all of my logical thoughts. Letting that part run further away with them, I imagine following him into his tent. Wonder what he would do and how he would react. Whether or not he would kick me out or spread my legs.
No. I’m not doing this. Fifteen years ago, I promised myself I wouldn’t when he tried reaching out. The little voice I’ve been trying to ignore deep down reminds me that fifteen years ago, I’d never have expected to see him again.
Or meet his kid. He’s gone on to live a whole life after me and he still would be living that life if his wife hadn’t gotten sick. That’s the other thing that scares me. Terrifies me actually. I’d still be where I am even if Sarah were still alive. They would have come to visit for Avery and Hudson’s wedding and we’d have had to deal with this in a completely different way. But that’s not what happened, even if, for Elias and Ethan’s sake, I wish it did.
And now, years later, the guy I was insanely in love with back then is single and we are right back where we were with a few stipulations. It’s a web I’m afraid to try to untangle and part of me wants to leave it tangled. Give up on the knot in the necklace and let it be the way it is. Stuck.
I don’t know how much time passes while I’m swirling around the drain of my thoughts, but by the time I get into my sleeping bag, the fire is down to mostly embers. The soft light from them flickers in and out of my vision until I finally drift off into a fitful sleep of hazel eyes and sighs echoing against cave walls.
