Page 71 of Into the Mountains
He’s right. I’m dead in the water. Drowning in the grief of what could have been. In despair at the thought that the grin on his face is telling. I’m going back on my earlier assumption that Ash is a nice guy underneath. He’s manipulative and he played me. I fell so easily into his web of truth and I can feel the cracks I thought Elias was helping keep together. Instead, he’s the one taking a nail to them and hammering them down to break them wide open.
“There you are.” Elias comes walking over to me after our victory. I didn’t stick around to see the rest of it play out. I found Andy and explained why I was going back to the car to wait and she understood. “What happened out there? I tried to ask Andy and Meredith, but by the time the game was over they looked like they were about to pelt me with the rest of their ammo. Andy said you were waiting at the car.”
My legs are crossed at the ankles as I lean against the hood of the car. “Yeah, I didn’t feel like playing anymore.”
His brows furrow. “Why?”
“Your friend Ash seems like a great guy,” I say sarcastically.
“Well, he has his faults, but he’s been an alright friend over the last year. Him and Alan.”
I nod, pushing off the car not taking a step closer to him. “Mmm. I didn’t know friends who were just alright would make a whole dating profile for them and match them with some random chick and then dare him to go out with her.” My voice isn’t low or quiet. It’s angry and strong and I think it takes him by surprise. He’s seen me angry before, but that was a desperate anger at my parents for keeping their secret. This anger is with him and him alone and by the look on his face, he’s not sure how to handle it. If I had to guess, he was hoping he’d never have to.
The color drains from his face faster than water bursting from a busted pipe. “I was going to—”
“Tell me? Bullshit,” I spit out, because if he was really going to tell me about this, he would have at least after the first few dates when we knew we were more than just dating.
“I was, I promise, Charlie. I just…I didn’t want to hurt you when we had a good thing going.”
“Don’tcall me that.” I start to walk away, but he grabs my hand and tries to pull me back. His touch is gentle and I almost wish it wasn’t so I had more of an excuse to leave. I have to leave. I yank my hand from his and his flinch is visible and visceral like he’s surprised I’m so hurt by his lie.
“You don’t get to call me anything anymore, Hayes. Everything…” My voice catches and his face falls when I revert to his old nickname. The last thing I want to do is cry in front of him. So, I’m not going to. Taking a deep breath, I blink a few times to clear the tears trying to break through. “It was all a lie.”
“It wasn’t,” he protests. “I love you—”
“No,” I almost scream. “It doesn’t matter. It’s all based on a lie.”
“But it was real. Everything I told you, from the second I saw you on that first date was the truth. My feelings for you are the truth.”
My heart wants to believe him, but my mind is already made up. Before I have a chance to tell him off, my phone sounds from my back pocket. TheStar Warstheme song tells me it’s my dad before I even look at it. Another deep breath before I answer; he’s notorious for calling when something is wrong. Something I got from him.
“Hi, Dad,” I answer.
“Where are you?” Weird. He usually makes more of a conversation when he calls.
“I’m with Elias.”
“Have him bring you home. It’s your mother…” he stalls and I don’t know whether to expect good news or bad, but I’m well versed in shit like this to know to always expect bad. “She’s,” he says with a strained voice, one that is choking back tears of joy. “Lucid,” he manages.
It’s my turn for the color to drain. Red with anger a moment ago to pale as the white sand we tracked from the field under my shoes. However, joy is short-lived, quickly replaced by fear. What if I don’t get home in time to see her? For her to remember me? What if I get there and she’s gone again? I have to go.Now.
Elias moves toward me, pulling me from my thoughts, and my insides feel like they’re caving in on one another, rocks tumbling down, one after the other. My chest feels tight, and my breaths start coming quicker than I want them to. Elias takes another step closer, and his arm reaches out like he wants to comfort me.
“Don’t,” I stop him, hand up in front of me, making sure he doesn’t come closer. I don’t want his comfort. I don’t want anything from him anymore.
Footsteps quicken as Andy and Meredith reach us. “Hey,” Andy says. “We heard shouting, are you okay?”
“No, can you take me home as fast as you can? My dad just called and my mom is lucid. I have to go. I have to get therebefore she…” I can’t finish the sentence out loud. It can’t be a possibility. I won’t let it be.
She glances between Elias and me, but doesn’t ask any questions. Instead, she takes my hand and squeezes, grounding me. The urge to cry and panic is too strong. Over Elias, over the anxiety I feel for my mom and I finally let out a choked sob as she turns me toward their car. He doesn’t make another move to come to me and I don’t bother looking back to see if he tries to follow us.
I’ll never see Elias Hayes again. And if I do, it’ll be too soon.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
CHARLOTTE
Elias finishes the story of the tragic last date that destroyed us and the camp is silent.
