Page 39 of Beck & Coll
“There is no if about it. I’m relocating to Oregon. In case you missed it, I gave my letter of resignation to HR today. I have two weeks before I am no longer an employee of Chicago Transit Works.”
“Well, I can’t just pick up and move. I have three kids to consider. They’re in school. They have their friends.”
“You can live in my house,” I volunteered, my mouth saying the words, before my mind could stop me. “It’s small and only a two bedroom, but?—”
“No,” Alisha interjected. “You can stay here, Perkins. I’m not selling the house. This house will always be a Kingsley house. You and my grandbabies don’t have to uproot yourselves. You can stay here.”
“Then I’ll sell my house. I’m moving to Jackson Falls. I never should’ve come back here,” I admitted as tears pooled in my eyes. “I let fear dictate my decision.”
“You got it honestly, Toots. I’ve spent a lifetime letting fear dictate my moves. I clung to men who were unworthy of me. Gave babies to men that I shouldn’t even have given my phone number to. They were unworthy, and the only good thing the four of them ever did was give me you all. But I’m not gonna let fear keep me from trying with a man who is everything my past denied me. This man wants to love me, and dammit, I’m gonna let him.”
“Get out of my head,” I told her, half laughing, half crying.
Beckham wanted to love me. Why was I so scared to let him?
“I’m going,” Church announced. “I’m going. I’ll let my job and my roommates know tomorrow. There is nothing keeping me in Chicago.”
“You’ve never even been there, Church,” Perkins reminded our youngest sister.
“So what? My mom’s gonna be there.”
“Where are you gonna work?”
“At the salon,” I suggested. “I’ll be an owner. If you want the receptionist position, it’s yours.”
“I want it,” she told me with a child-like grin.
“So, everybody’s just picking up and moving?” Bailey finally spoke. “Everybody’s just leaving me and Perkins here to fend for ourselves?”
“You’re not by yourself,” Perkins reminded her, jabbing her finger toward Xander. “There’s your ‘better half’ right there.”
Alisha turned to her daughter. “Bailey, I’m sorry for just dumping this in you all’s lap like this. I’m sorry that it seems like it’s coming out of nowhere. I’m sorry it caught you off guard. But I can’t apologize for needing to live whatever life I have left. I can’t apologize for choosing me and for choosing love and happiness. Bayliss makes me happy. He makes me smile. He takes care of me, even from 2,000 miles away. He’s?—”
“A literal stranger,” Perkins cut in. “You’ve known this man for weeks, and you’re quitting your job? Picking up your life and moving?”
“You don’t have to understand, Perkins.” Alisha’s voice was quiet and calm. “You don’t have to like it, or even accept it. But you will have to deal with it because it’s happening.”
My head spun with all of the signs I received that day. First, DeeAnna telling me the story of the salon owner, and then my mom announcing that she had given her resignation and was relocating.
“I’ve spent so much of my life scared. Scared that no man would love me. Scared that a man would leave me. Scared that I would never find a job that paid as much as driving a bus. Scared that I wouldn’t be able to raise you girls to be upstanding, outstanding women. And what I realized is that I was always scared, but I had no choice but to keep going. I did everything scared, but I still did everything I needed to do. Now, I’m doing this scared, but there’s not a devil in hell that’s gonna stop me from doing it.”
She was right. I was scared, but I was still moving to Jackson Falls. I was going to do it scared.
About Five Weeks Later
Thanksgiving Day
Mr. and Mrs. Strong’s house was the perfect place to hold the joint family Thanksgiving. It was large but still homey. Brewer had made most of the food, and everything tasted as good as it smelled. I sat between Beckham, and my sister, Perkins.
She’d been resistant to come at first. Apparently, she was still in her feelings about our mother choosing to relocate. Initially, both she and Bailey were determined to host their own little Thanksgiving in Chicago. Then Xander convinced Bailey that it was stupid to turn down a free trip and the opportunity to eat food prepared by a professional chef as opposed to eating Perkins’s dry turkey. Once Bailey was on board, Perkins really had no choice unless she wanted to spend the holiday alone.
I leaned over slightly and bumped her shoulder lightly with my own. “I’m glad you came. I’ve missed you and the kids so much.”
“I’ve missed you, too… surprisingly,” she joked, before dissolving into giggles. “And it’s hard being there without Ma.”
“Would you ever consider moving here? There’s jobs at the lodge, and the cost of living here is so much cheaper. The school district is good.”
“I don’t know. I wouldn’t want to leave Bailey. Xander will never leave Chicago. He’s told Bailey that about a million times. He’s never leaving Chicago.”
