Page 102 of Blood and Thorns
“Hmm,” I hummed. “When I’m in the ring, I can ignore the outside noise. Nothing else matters other than my opponent.” I’ve always found it hard to shut everything else off,when my demons howled and my nightmares threatened. It was constant, like a violent buzz beneath my skin. Until I met her, at least.
“Is that why you don’t sleep? Because of the noise in your head?”
“You been watching me,belle?” She rolled her eyes, laughing when I pulled her tighter against me. “You going to behave tonight?”
“Do I have a choice?”
I pressed my mask against her ear. “We all have a choice, and you made yours by sitting on my lap.” My erection ached, throbbing against my zipper. It was a fucking nuisance, and if I had my way, I’d already be home painting her skin in various shades before making her come repeatedly.
But other than supporting Lang, there was another reason I had to be seen tonight. I needed to appear unaffected by those fucking rumours. As not to be seen as weak.
At the moment they were somewhat contained, but I knew how quickly those devious whispers could spread.
“So if I sochoose, I could walk out that door and never come back?”
“Yes, if you want your father’s blood on your hands.” I pinched her chin, forcing her gaze to mine. “I’ve told you before,belle. You’re mine.”
“Until the debt is paid,” she shot back. “So tell me, how much have I actually paid off?”
“Nothing.”
Annoyance darkened her eyes, and I smiled slow and cruel beneath my mask.
“You’re not even pretending there’s a way out, are you?” she huffed.
“You made a choice. You knew exactly what you wereagreeing to when you took his place.” I brushed a thumb along her jaw.
“I agreed to pay off his debt.” She jerked her head away. “How can I if you won’t let me?”
“You don’t get to play the victim,belle.” There was no arrogancy in my words, just the truth. “You gave yourself to save him. Which makes you mine until I decide otherwise.”
Arabella
An ember of anger sparked to life beneath my skin, but before I could make everything worse Caden appeared at our side, kneeling beside Sebastian. His words were lost against the general noise of the room, but his face was severe. Angry, which was his generic expression if I was being honest.
With a nod Sebastian went to stand, sliding me off his thighs before pinning me with his gaze.
“I’ll behave,” I whispered, ignoring how my lungs tightened behind my ribs.
What was even more frustrating was that I found myself tracking him across the floor, his presence like a hurricane tearing through my soul. There were moments of calm, when he revealed a little bit about himself, making him seem almost human. At the way he showed little bits of vulnerability through his art, something I was sure he’d never shown anyone else.
He’d been more than human the other night, the fear in his expression real before he’d blinked and replaced it withblack rage. He’d painted for hours, and each second I’d been there, silently watching the pain he was pushing onto the canvas.
Then the moment would pass, and his eyes would hold me hostage, reminding me how little control I had. It was made worse by the ache between my thighs, at how warmth spread through me when he held me in a bruising grip. How he seemed to centre himself just by touch.
At first, I believed I was giving up my control entirely, but I’d come to realise that there was power in that loss. That by trusting Sebastian with my body, trusting him to know whether to push or when to pull, was a type of control in itself. It was an illusion that gave me peace, the not needing to think or worry about day to day because Sebastian would deal with it, and in return he used that need for dominance to calm his emotions. The ones he’d buried so deep, they came back to haunt him.
I found myself no longer swiping expensive trinkets to hide beneath my bed or sketching every possible exit in my notebook of the penthouse. And when he spoke of retaliation against the people who’d nearly killed Langdon and me, I wasn’t as horrified as I should’ve been.
Before, I would have protested, even begged him not to choose violence. Now… I wasn’t so sure. Because when he spoke of vengeance, his reasoning made sense in a way that unsettled me.
We seemed to be existing in this strange, shifting balance. Dark and intimate. Yet somehow it made me feel… whole. Like I fit into a space I hadn’t known I’d been searching for. And that scared the hell out of me.
Fear rippled through the crowd as Sebastian walked amongst them, and I watched him until he disappeared through a door on the other side.
“I wouldn’t recommend running this time, Miss Grey,” Miles warned, coming to stand guard beside me.
“Don’t have on the right trainers tonight, Miles?”
