Page 23 of Save A Horse
I thought about how Daisy and I used to talk for hours, her laughter spilling out like sunlight. She made me feel something inside that I had never felt. Back then, I was always on the inside with Daisy, us sharing every little detail.
Now, it felt like I was on the outside, looking at a time in the world that was nearly perfect. Daisy and I were best friends, my mother was still here, and life was so good.
Daisy got up and left so quickly to go to bed, and it stung. I just wish she had talked to me. I wish she had at least asked me why. Something was better than nothing.
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. All I did was try to give her some space and apologize…again. What was she expecting me to say? What else was I supposed to do? If she wanted something, why couldn’t she just tell me or ask me? I hated what I was feeling. It felt like I had a hole in my heart, and I was so afraid oflosing Daisy...again. My heart felt hollow, and I wanted it to be filled again. What could I do to bridge the gap that had formed so suddenly between us? My first step was to figure out how to break through the barrier she had built.
Chapter Twenty
Daisy
For the better part of the last few days, I have kept my mind on the work around the ranch. I moved with a sense of purpose to complete my duties and anything Walt told me to do, without question or any attitude. Walt seemed to be in a particularly good mood this morning and his spirit hasn’t faltered. He had been giving me plenty of tasks to do around the ranch, though, but I still didn’t complain. Happy Walt was much better than the alternative.
Colt and I still haven’t talked. I want him to be the one to come to me, and I still don’t want to give up on that. I don’t want to give in. I didn’t do anything wrong, unless agreeing to go out with someone was wrong. I guess to Walt, it would be considered wrong in this case. I still didn’t understand why he asked Colt to promise him that. It's just a weird thing to do. I’m an adult, and so is Colt. If we want to go out, then who is to stop us? I know how much Colt cares about his dad, though, and wants to please him, so it couldn’t be as simple as going against his dad’s wishes.
The sun was casting a warm glow over the fields as Icontinued working. I checked the fence line, as Walt instructed, saying how important a task it was. I made sure there were no gaps where the cattle could get out and wander off. I had chased cattle before, and that was not as fun as it may seem. My boots crunched against the ground with each step I took.
Nonetheless, I could still feel the tension inside me from the conversation with Colt. Yes, I had been short with him at dinner the other night and we haven’t spoken a word since, but why was I supposed to be the one to make the first move for any sort of reconciliation when the fault was on him?
I couldn’t shake the uneasiness from it all. There was no denying that Colt was being distant, and I was being reserved. It was hard to figure out how to navigate the shifting dynamics between us.
“Daisy, how’s that fence look?”
“Looks good, Walt.”
“Well, good. Your dad called.”
“Oh?”
“He needs some help replacing a few pieces of his fence. I’m going over to help him. You stay here. There’s plenty of work to be done. You need to go feed the horses and check their water. I’ll be back later.”
“I’ll get right on it.”
I missed my dad. I wished he had come to visit me more in the city, but I knew why he wouldn’t. He felt too out of place there, and my dad hated to be anxious. It would be nice to spend more time with him, though. We saw each other at Rose’s funeral and the one time he came to see me, but we haven’t seen each other besides those two times. I did call him occasionally to check in, but it wasn’t the same.
I went to the barn and checked on the horses, rubbing each of their heads and giving them the right amount of feed thatWalt had shown me, and filled up their water troughs. Being with the horses gave me so much peace and comfort. It was like my problems faded away any time I was near them.
I heard a noise in the distance and I turned to see Colt with his hands in his pockets. He walked with a purpose, but his stride slowed momentarily, and I sensed some hesitation. My heart raced. Was he finally going to come to talk to me? I missed hearing his voice. I missed the way we were. I was stopped dead in my tracks. I wiped my face, feeling the sweat. As he drew closer, I met his gaze.
“Hey, Daisy.” His voice had a mix of uncertainty and determination. “Can we talk for a minute?” I nodded, trying not to let my face reveal any emotion.
“Sure.” Colt shifted his weight, rolling his neck from one side to the other, as if trying to figure out how to start the conversation.
“I wanted to talk to you about all this.”
“Okay?” It came out as more of a question than a statement.
“This is my fault, and I own up to that.”
“Okay.”
“Daisy, could you stop it with the okays? I want you to know why I promised my dad what I did.”
“Alright.” He roughly rubbed his head, wishing I would stop with my antics, but he knew I was never going to change. I crossed my arms, feeling my chest tighten. I have wanted him to come to me and talk for days now, and now that he finally was, I was so nervous and anxious. “So, why did you promise him that? I mean, do you have any idea how that made me feel? And you telling me that after the night we had…it just felt like you were trying to put distance between us. I don’t like that. I don’t want there to be any distance between us.” He opened his mouth to respond, then closed it.
“It’s not like that. I just…this place is my life. It’s my legacy, too, not just his. I want to take over someday. You know that. At the time, you and I hadn’t spoken since right before your mom died, and I barely thought we would talk and be able to get along again once you got here…at least not like when we were kids. And I didn’t expect anything else. I figured work was all both of us would be doing this summer.”
“So that makes it okay? You didn’t think about how this could affect me.”
